Return to Sender, Damaged in Transit
by SmileySimmo
Summary: He's not exactly the kind of saint she'd learnt about as a little girl.
1. Chapter 1

**Return to Sender, Damaged in Transit**

...

He'll be out soon. Any time now.

Quinn waits by the school entrance and stares down the empty main hallway, looking for any signs of her boyfriend. Prom had officially ended at midnight and thirty minutes later he has still not made an appearance. She didn't see where Coach Sylvester had taken him – maybe she still has him in her office. Quinn had already waved goodbye to several couples when they left; she had even managed to give Kurt a polite if slightly forced smile as he walked out with Blaine, crown sitting firmly on his head.

She glances at her phone, he hasn't even replied to her texts. She isn't in the mood to drink and celebrate but if Finn takes any longer, they'll be late to the after parties. Not to mention the idea of being deserted at school at night gives her the chills. She looks out at the parking lot, barely a few cars remain. She prays that the only reason she can't see his truck is because it's too dark outside.

He wouldn't just _leave_ her.

"Princess Grace, alone?" she hears a voice say from behind her. Quinn spins round in fear, only to come face to face with Jesse St. James.

After taking a few seconds to calm herself, she speaks in a cold and spiteful manner. "What are _you_ doing here?"

He walks forward until he's standing next to her and lets out a long sigh. "I _was_ waiting for Rachel, but she's just informed me that she left with Sam and Mercedes long ago," he says holding up the phone in his hand. She knows. Rachel had been fishing for another conversation too, but there was no way Quinn was going down that road again so soon. "How come you're still around? After the way everything's gone for you I would've thought you'd want to give your mouth breather boyfriend a piece of your mind."

"Have you seen Finn?" she asks, ignoring his former statement.

"Not since he decided to revert back to being a five year old. This – " he gingerly touches the swelling on his face "– is not going to be good for me." Quinn lets out a shaky breath and turns away as tears begin to blur her vision.

He left her.

She blinks a few times before composing herself for the second time that night; she is not going to cry in front of Jesse. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees him walk down the front steps; he pauses halfway down and turns around. "So are you coming or are you just going to stand there all night?"

"What?"

He rolls his eyes. "You have no ride, I have a car. Let's go," he says gesturing to the car park behind him.

"I am not going _anywhere_ with you," she sneers. She knows her bitchiness is uncalled for since his night has been ruined just as much as hers, but at that moment Jesse is the only person within striking range and it feels good to lash out.

"Then how exactly do you expect to leave?" he asks, folding his arms.

She turns around and looks down the empty hallway again. "I'm sure someone's still here, I can wait."

"It's almost one and I doubt any of your sexually frustrated and alcohol deprived associates stuck around to help...clean up." A mildly amused grin graces his features.

"The teachers are here. I could always ask Mr. Schue."

He merely raises his eyebrows and gives her a look of pity – she can sense he's judging her and it only serves to make her angrier. "You're acting like a child Quinn."

"Just go okay, I don't need you to do me any favours," she says hatefully before turning her back on him. She doesn't really know why she's being so stubborn and callous. In all seriousness, he's the best option she has right now and she should be thankful he is even offering. Whatever. After a few seconds she looks over her shoulder, fully expecting him to still be standing there ready to continue convincing her. To her surprise, he's already walking away into the dark car park and her jaw drops in disbelief when he doesn't turn around.

Not even to make a smartass comment.

She tries glaring at the brown curls that bounce on the back of his head, willing him to stop. When she hears him start the engine, she begins to panic again. She sifts through her clutch, quickly considering all the remaining possibilities she has left. Last year when she was pregnant, she could've had Puck driving out to her in a heartbeat. This year? Not so much. Santana and Brittany are probably too drunk to even find their phones by now. Finn is still not answering her.

Sure the teachers are probably still at school and she's confident Mr. Schuester won't refuse, but asking him would be beyond pathetic and she won't be able to live down the embarrassment of having to be taken home by a teacher. She cringes as she realises that the only person she has left to call is in fact her mother. Frankly she prefers the teacher idea; she won't have to owe Mr. Schuester an explanation as to why she's failed at something yet again.

Her breathing quickens as she searches through the numbers on her phone and she can feel the tears sting her eyes again; she's trying to fight it but if she cries now, at least she won't break in front of her mother. She's about to press dial when she hears a car approach her. She looks up and sees a Range Rover with none other than Jesse in the driver's seat. He rolls down the passenger side window. "Get in the car Quinn," he says with an exasperated look.

She shuts her eyes and silently admits defeat before holding up her dress and making her way to his car. She yanks open the door and throws her clutch bag onto the seat in frustration. Quinn refuses to make eye contact with him as she ungracefully attempts to get into the seat of a car that is way too high off the ground and she can't help but scowl even more when she hears him laugh softly. It's only when he starts driving that he speaks again. "So where am I taking you?"

"Home I guess," she shrugs and stares into the distance.

"And I'm supposed to know where that is?"

"You've been to Rachel's house right? I live pretty close to there," she replies moodily. She hopes her mother is asleep, that way she'd be able to sneak in and head up to her room without having to tell her why she's suddenly decided not to 'sleep over at Santana's house.'

Quinn glances at Jesse as subtly as she can; he's right, the swelling under his eye is pretty bad and may even bruise. He turns his head towards her ever so slightly and she doesn't know why but she quickly looks away. "Why does that crown matter so much to you anyway?" he asks finally breaking the silence between them.

She wants to defend herself, to give him all the reasons as to why a piece of cheap plastic has been haunting her dreams for the past few months, but somehow she just...can't. She settles for saying, "You wouldn't understand."

"Maybe. Or...I'd understand perfectly. I don't think any of your glee_ clubbers_ know what it's like to fall so spectacularly short of your goals," he says offhandedly. She glares at him as he speaks; annoyed that she's effectively being compared to a college dropout. "In a way you're right; why you chose to feel so strongly about something like becoming prom queen_ is_ beyond me.

"Shut up – this is all _your_ fault," she snaps. It's annoying that someone who, for all extensive purposes is a stranger, is making an attempt to empathise and she isn't about to let him continue.

"And yet_ I'm_ the one taking you home because your _boyfriend _realised he felt like playing with another toy." He continues staring at the road straight ahead but she notices his jaw tenses as he speaks. "Come on Quinn I hit on you, right in front of him, but he was too hung up on what happened to Rachel _last year_."

"You being here ruined everything," she fires back. "You being here made Finn think he was still in love with Rachel. Tonight Finn and I should've had our photo together wearing those crowns – instead I ended up taking my photo _alone_."

"In which case I did you a favour; you, of all people, don't need that giant dumbass taking up three quarters of the frame."

"We were fine before you showed up," she mumbles.

He barks out a laugh. "For your sake, I really hope you're not blonde enough to believe that."

She doesn't – nothing can rationalise what Finn's done. Quinn looks at the corsage on her wrist. When Finn told her that he had purposely picked a ribbon that matched her eyes, she had thought that for one night they could put everything that they were going through behind them and just be in love.

'_You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen.' _

The words had echoed through her mind the entire time she was dancing with Finn, but her beauty couldn't stop him from eyefucking Rachel right in front of her.

Quinn picks at the knot around her wrist and when it won't come loose she tugs it angrily, causing the ribbon to snap. She lowers the window and flings it outside the car, watching as several white petals come loose. "You can get rid of this too while you're at it," he says suddenly, pulling out the flower that's pinned onto his tux and handing it to her. It's a pretty shade of pink and she wonders if he had specifically picked it out to match Rachel's dress. It seems like something Jesse would do. Something a boy would do if he really loved someone. She obliges and throws it outside as well before rolling up the window and leaning back into the seat.

They continue to drive in silence and to top off the disaster of a night she's having, it's starting to drizzle. "So what're you going to do now?" she asks, watching the rivulets of water run down the window.

He shrugs. "Rachel and I are meant to be stars, and I'm going to make sure that happens."

She grimaces as yet again, everything leads back to Berry. "I meant tonight actually, what are you going to do tonight?"

"Oh –head to my uncle's place and drink until I can't remember how many theatres are currently open on Broadway. Care to join me?" he asks, giving her a weary smile.

She shakes her head, although that kind of drinking sounds very appealing. If anything, her mother won't be able to make a case to stop her. "How are you going to help Rachel?" she asks, her curiosity getting the better of her.

"Well I thought of it at that sad excuse for an Italian restaurant everyone here seems to love, and honestly I think it's a pretty good idea. I'm going to become a show choir consultant and The New Directions is my first client," he says with a self-satisfied look.

She's not really sure what to make of that, so she busies herself with taking out her earrings instead. When he reaches her neighbourhood, she gives him directions and soon he's parked outside her house. The lights inside are off, that's a good sign. She sighs and sinks deeper into his leather seat, thinking of what to say to her mother. "It seems like you don't really want to go Quinn," he says quietly, facing away from her.

And maybe he's right. As insane as it sounds she'd much rather spend the rest of the night driving with Jesse than face Judy but the rain is getting heavier and she's far too exhausted to suggest otherwise. She opens the door and is once more reminded of the ridiculous height of his car.

"Need some help?"

"No." Her feet ache, partly because of the heels and partly because of the fact that Finn had been so busy staring at Rachel he had managed to step on her toes multiple times. She'd even been nice enough not to snap at him for it.

Fuck this; she isn't going to risk a sprained ankle as well. She slips off her shoes and throws them onto the pavement before jumping out of the Range Rover. She picks up the stilettos and purse and walks around to the driver's side.

"Jesse I – was being unfair before," she admits as she looks into his tired eyes, hoping that that serves as enough of an apology.

"Yes you were."

So much for a 'that's okay, so was I.' She takes a breath so that she won't say something she doesn't mean because she just doesn't have it in her to get angry again. "Do you...wanna come inside and get some ice for that?" she asks, pointing to his cheek.

He nods and moves to get out of the car as well. She unceremoniously walks straight through her lawn barefoot, knowing that bits of wet grass and mud are going to stain her dress but at that moment she can't bring herself to care. Judy can nag her about it tomorrow. Jesse on the other hand, specifically avoids the lawn, choosing to make a big arc around until he finds the concrete path leading to her door.

As she looks for her house keys she can't help but smile a little.

...

**Author's Note: I swear these two are eating my brain. This will be a multi-chapter story, not sure how long, but we'll just go with the flow. Please leave reviews and I hope you liked it :) **


	2. Chapter 2

**Return to Sender, Damaged in Transit**

...

Quinn slowly pushes open the door, trying to keep the creaking to a minimum. She tiptoes inside and motions for to Jesse to follow her, gently dropping her heels in the hallway. She turns on the kitchen lights before making her way to the freezer to look for the icepack. Jesse leans against the counter next to her and shuts his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. The icepacks are stuck together and she lays them in the sink next to him, trying to pry them apart.

"Quinnie?"

Shit.

She turns around and looks her mother in the eyes. "Yes?"

"What're you doing here sweetie? Aren't you staying with Santana?" Judy asks, standing in the doorway.

"Change of plans," she says flatly, putting on the poker face she almost always uses when talking to her mother.

"Well come on then, where is it Miss Prom Queen? Show me your crown," Judy says with a beaming smile on her face.

Quinn swallows but the lump in throat won't go away. "I didn't get it." She maintains eye contact with her and notices how her mother's smile falters slightly.

"But I thought you said you and Finn were –"

"Somebody must've stuffed the ballot boxes," she interrupts turning back around to face the sink. She casts a sideways glance at Jesse, who raises his eyebrow at her. Technically she isn't lying. Thankfully he stays quiet.

"And who is this?" Judy asks. Quinn recognises this tone, the sweet voice she uses when she's trying to hide what she's really thinking.

"This is Jesse; he gave me a ride back from school. Jesse – meet my mother Judy," Quinn explains without turning around, her gaze fixed firmly on the icepacks that are slowly thawing in front of her.

Jesse nods to the older woman with a polite but brief smile.

"Where's Finn?"

"Oh he had to go home, he wasn't feeling very well. Must've been the punch," she says nonchalantly. She's gotten very good at deflecting her mother's persistent questioning over the years and it's almost too easy to lie without fumbling even once. She's also aware that she's used an appropriate pun – it's not like Judy is creative enough to understand. She wonders if Jesse picks up on it.

"You know they really should get someone to watch the punchbowl, god knows what those kids in that school of yours are up to."

Go away. _Please._

"What happened to your face dear?"

Quinn realises her mother is now speaking to Jesse. "It's nothing, a couple of imbeciles decided to have a go at each other on the dance floor. Collateral damage," he explains smoothly. Seems like someone is just as good as she is, Quinn muses to herself.

"I don't even know what we're paying that school for anymore; I have half a mind to go talk to that Principal myself. You know they're planning to raise the fees this year?"

"You don't say..." Jesse is clearly also very good at sounding like he's engaged in conversation. Quinn barely contains her impressed grin.

"Sure we're in a recession and all, but it's not as though the quality of staff or facilities is getting any better. I seriously considered making Quinn transfer to Crawford as a junior, but I suppose now she only has one year left."

And thank god for that.

Jesse remains silent and she notices that he's now staring at her with a probing look on his face, almost like he's try to read her mind.

"Well don't just stand there Quinnie, get Jesse some ice."

Quinn jaw clenches and she grips the edge of the counter, still with her back to her mother. "That's what I was doing _mom_," she says, the frustration coming through in her voice.

"I'll leave you to it then." She hears Judy opening a cupboard, probably to take out a wine glass. "That's such a shame about prom queen though, who won?"

"The person with the most votes, obviously," she whispers through gritted teeth as her eyes fall shut. If her mother doesn't leave soon she's going to crack, she can feel it bubbling up in her chest.

"Alright, I can see you don't want to talk about it. Jesse it is well past Quinn's bedtime, so I hope you understand you'll have to head back home soon. " Her mother's voice fades out as she walks towards the stairs. "But I do want to see how precious you and Finn look in your photos okay? Don't worry Quinnie, we can always frame next year's ones..."

Quinn violently pulls the icepacks apart and only opens her eyes once she hears her mother's bedroom door slam shut. She lets out a long breath and turns to hand Jesse the icepack – he's still intently gazing with the same expression. "Don't," she warns, although the malice isn't directed at him.

"I wasn't going to," he replies not missing a beat. He winces softly as he presses the cold pack to his swollen skin. "You know, this is the first time I've ever been punched."

She's thankful he chooses to change the subject and she starts removing the many pins that hold up her hair in place. "Seriously? With the things you say and do I'm surprised half your face isn't falling off."

"Doesn't mean people haven't tried." He looks at her through his one good eye and gives her a crooked grin. "But my years of dance have ensured my reflexes are very sharp. It was a cheap shot; he got me when I was trying to tell Sylvester that the fight, if you could even call it that, was quite obviously not my fault."

"That's Finn, one minute he's being all Mr. Nice Guy and the next he's knocking you on your ass."

He slowly furrows his brow and turns to face her. "I was not 'knocked on my ass.' You'd think Finn would realise that people can't just hit me. Then again, he is the stupidest person I've had the misfortune of knowing."

Her damp hair falls around her shoulders and she grimaces as Jesse belittles her boyfriend. "That's too bad that you got kicked out though," she says offhandedly.

"I doubt I missed much," he scoffs, "except...the opportunity to show Grace Kelly what it's like to truly enjoy dancing. I don't think I'll ever get another chance to ask her."

She smiles half-heartedly but doesn't look at him, even though he's complimenting her, because it just reminds her of how both Finn and Jesse will always choose Rachel instead. "You can keep the ice but you should go," she says glancing towards the staircase.

"And we were just hitting it off." He runs a hand through his hair and Quinn walks him to the door, very aware of his presence behind her.

"Jesse –" She looks up at him, just as he steps out into the veranda and realises how much taller he is now that she's barefoot. "Thank you for...the ride, my mom...all that stuff." It comes out a lot meeker than she intends.

He gives her a small smile that she thinks is slightly different to his signature smug smirk. Then again, maybe she just imagines it because it's gone the next second. "I'll see you around Quinn," he says before walking to his car quickly, in an effort not to get wet.

"Yeah see ya," she mutters, more to herself than to him. As soon as he revs the engine, she shuts the door and heads for her room. She can see a stream of light coming from underneath her mother's door – so much for it being late.

It's only when she locks her door, strips off her dress and collapses on the bed, muddy feet and all, that she allows herself to cry.

...

**Author's Note: Thanks for all the feedback I never expected to have such a positive response. I hope you all enjoy this chapter and are kind enough to leave more reviews :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Return to Sender, Damaged in Transit**

...

For the most part, Quinn's still in a funk from the events of last week's prom but from the time she had woken up the day after and heard all of the 34 voice messages that Finn had left on her phone, she had decided to put it behind her. She more or less accepts his explanation that he was so confused on prom night that he had gotten into his car and left without thinking. But every now and again (especially when he takes a 'secret' glance at Rachel), just to spite Finn, she gets the urge to mention, cryptically, that it was the one and only Jesse St. James who had taken her home alone and in the middle of the night.

When she sees Jesse walk into their choir room during rehearsal, it's not entirely unexpected but she's not really sure how to react; she settles for looking indifferent. Apart from Rachel and maybe Sam, she's the only one who's not trying to bore holes into his face so indifference should suffice anyway. Quinn sure as hell isn't going to start clapping and smiling like an idiot.

For his part, Jesse is wholly focused on Rachel and though his eyes do flicker towards Quinn just once, he does it so quickly that she's not even sure if he actually looks. She is sure that Finn is getting angrier by the second and it's beyond depressing that all Rachel has to do is have a _possible_ suitor to get him to react this way. Rachel's looking at Jesse with a large smile and wow, the girl really must be some kind of emotional masochist because no one else would be willing to even talk to a guy who legitimately made breakfast on her face. Or want to be friends with a girl who straight up slapped her.

She is brought out of her thoughts by Finn's declaring how amazingly wonderful his duets with Rachel's are.

"Yeah killed us. We lost," she muses out loud as she purposely looks into the distance. She doesn't know where that comes from, but it makes her feel a little better. He _knows _how Quinn feels about his duets and yet he still has the gall to brag about them in front of her – it's only fair that he gets humiliated as well. Besides it is true; the New Directions did lose but, more importantly, Finn's duets with Rachel have been the cause of many fights during Quinn's relationship with him. She can feel Finn giving her his kicked puppy face but when she looks back at Jesse, he gives her the smallest of nods and suddenly, she can't bring herself to care.

"You kind of sing and dance like a zombie that has to poop."

Quinn twists her hands and bites her tongue hard in order to stop herself from giving Jesse any signs that she agrees with him. Sort of. If she even so much as smirks, she knows Jesse'll pick up on it and further justify his views on her relationship. Everything from the way he's looking at Finn to his blunt honesty to the the polite yet scathing inflection in his voice really is just too good but she isn't going to give him the satisfaction of being right.

After all, it was around the time of the zombie mash up that she had decided she could have Finn again and since she's technically still with him, she doesn't think it'd be good girlfriend behaviour to burst out laughing.

Behind her, Puck and Kurt clearly don't share the same concerns.

* * *

><p>Quinn stays after glee club that day, in order to practise for the solo she's going to sing for the auditions. She half-heartedly leafs through the several sheets of music, trying to decide what would require the least amount of practise because she's pretty sure Jesse is not going to be as objective as he claims. But getting a solo on a National stage would mean that just for a few minutes everyone's eyes would be on her and in New York that had to mean something.<p>

"Quinn, hard at work I see."

This time she places the voice instantly and on cue, she spots him coming down the stairs. "Do you always have to sneak up on me?" she asks without even bothering to look at him. "If I didn't know any better I'd say you were doing it on purpose." Out of the corner of her eye she can see that now he's standing right next to her.

"It does add a certain dramatic effect doesn't it? But I think you're just not very observant."

"What, are you here to scope out Rachel's competition?" she asks, turning to look up at him and raising an eyebrow.

"Hardly. Rachel _is_ the best singer in the New Directions. But, I have to admit, I am sort of interested in hearing your voice," he explains before taking a seat next to her on the piano stool. She shifts uncomfortably at being so close to him – hasn't he heard of personal space? He leans over her shoulder in an effort to see her music, but she quickly pulls the sheets towards her chest and gives him a sly look. "Fine," he sighs exaggeratedly, "I suppose it'll give me something to look forward to amidst all the awful, predictable and awfully predictable song choices." His face sours even as he speaks of the other glee club members.

"Are you getting paid to be here?" she asks.

"No, I consider it a form of...community service."

She narrows her eyes at him but his face remains frustratingly relaxed and if anything, amused. "I'm pretty sure that apart from Rachel, you hate everybody here. I don't understand why you're putting yourself through this."

"It's not for you to understand," he says calmly, "you know if you count the fact that Sam is actually poor, then this really does count as community service. Hmm, I never thought of that before but I guess being able to add volunteerism to my list of accomplishments is a nice bonus."

He's exhausting to listen to and in order to drown him out, she begins to absent-mindedly play a melody on the piano using her right hand; it isn't long before he joins in, improvising a harmony. She resists the overwhelming urge to roll her eyes – who even does things like that? Instead she watches his fingers move over the keys gracefully; she's never been able to play like that, so freely, as though it's second nature. He seems to notice her staring because he's smirking again. "So...I see you're still with Hudson." His eyes are very much focused on the keys as he says this.

She abruptly stops playing and turns away. "If that's your attempt at being subtle –"

"Why?"

She lets out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding. "Because I love him."

"Even though he doesn't really love you," he says with a disturbingly casual tone. Jesse takes over the melody as well, playing a little faster; she tries to study his face but he's giving nothing away and it's exasperating for her. She's not sure what he's trying to get at but she isn't having any of it.

"Save the judging for when I'm on stage," she snaps before standing up and walking away from him.

...

**Author's Note: Quinn and Jesse are both so stubborn ;) Thanks to everyone who was kind enough to leave a review, I really appreciate every single one of them. As always, let me know what you think about this chapter and thanks for reading!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Return to Sender, Damaged in Transit**

**...**

Quinn arranges the things on her dressing table as Finn sits on the bed behind her. He'd given her a ride home and since Judy nearly always works late on school days, she'd asked him to stay a little longer. There's still a slight tension between them and every now and then she looks at him in her mirror and he gives her his usual goofy half-smile without any words being exchanged.

"How was your day?" she asks, finally deciding to break the silence.

"Good. Mostly. I mean I totally fell asleep during Spanish today and I think Mr. Schue saw but he didn't tell me off...that was really cool," he shrugs, "I kinda wish that they hadn't run out of chocolate milk for lunch though. How about you?"

"Fine," she says flatly, "I had a brownie today." She's not really sure what else to tell him.

"Sweet," she sees his reflection grin, "it's cool how you don't have to worry about what you eat and all that other crazy stuff Coach Sylvester made you do –" Her eyes shoot him a warning "– I mean not that you're fat, you're really pretty Quinn...and brave for quitting the Cheerios but uh – yeah never mind." He smiles again and she smiles back, if only a little stiffly.

"So have you picked a song to tryout with yet?" she asks, drawing imaginary circles on the surface of the table.

"No. I'm not singing in front of that douche. All he's gonna do is tell me I suck but using more...words." Finn angrily flops onto her bed and she hears him sigh loudly.

"Well I have, do you want to know what song?"

"You're actually going to be a part of this thing?" In the mirror, she sees that he's leaning up on his elbows, his brow furrowed at her.

"Yes," she says turning around to face him, "I think it's worth a shot, to get to do more than sway in the background. Plus we'll have someone else's opinion – someone who isn't Mr. Schuester."

"Yeah, someone who's a jerk."

She notices he is getting defensive and she doesn't like it. "Why is this such a big deal to you?"

"Because you're like...taking his side," he argues. Now he's positively glaring at her.

She takes in a deep breath as the anger begins to build inside her as well. "His _side_? Rachel's going to sing too you know."

"That's different; she's Rachel and she like lives for solos. You're my girlfriend and you're supposed to have my back."

She raises both her eyebrows and looks at him incredulously. She wants to hit him. Really, really hard. "Oh like you had mine during prom?" She knows she's making the situation worse by baiting him, but she can't – won't – stop herself.

"Quinn I said I was sorry about that, like a million times, what more do you want me to do?" he asks throwing up his arms.

"I don't know, maybe take my _side_ for once and not hers because like you said _I'm_ your girlfriend," she says hatefully, raising her voice to match his.

"This isn't even about Rachel!"

"Like hell it isn't." She swivels back around to face her dressing table. "You know, I hope she picks Jesse – at least he knows what he wants," she says softly, slowly regaining control of her voice.

"Whatever. I'll see you later when you're not being all Scary Quinn." He gets up and leaves, slamming the door to her bedroom.

* * *

><p>The New Directions are terrible. Even a whole year hasn't been enough time for them to improve. They still can't dance. Apparently giving solos to the best singer 'isn't fair' and turns everyone in the club into whining children so now Jesse has to sit through audition after audition, each one only serving to justify his opinion that they still can't sing either. Their so called 'male lead' is an insult to performance in general but, by nothing short of a miracle, he's not got the balls to sing in front of a real judge of talent.<p>

When Jesse's pen runs out of ink (so much for shading in his cat) and he is forced to actually listen to Santana, halfway through he's prepared to jam it into his ears and tear his own eardrums. But after being asked to leave UCLA, this is the closest he is going to get to redeeming himself and getting his parents off his back about going to college in Ohio so whatever, he can deal. If only he could've learnt to sleep with his eyes open – why wasn't there a college class about that? He would've at least considered showing up.

He tells Santana what her performance lacks and she swears she'll 'go all Lima Heights adjacent' on him. Much like the New Directions, who never really take any new directions, Santana too is in limbo, using the same threats he's heard from her countless times before. It's woeful.

There's a slight pause as Kurt sets up and Jesse sees Schuester rapidly scribbling something he must deem acceptable about the Latina. "This is a waste of your time and mine _and_ theirs," says Jesse, deciding to just cut to the chase.

The older man's jaw clenches and he continues writing. "Look Jesse, I know it's not the Vocal Adrenaline way but this is how we do things here and it's worked for us before."

"Sorry, but you don't have the hardware to prove that."

"Well – that was last year, now we're stronger and our wins at Sectionals and Regionals are proof enough."

The slight hesitation is enough to tell Jesse that as much as Schuester tries to deny it, he agrees with him.

Kurt clears his throat, interrupting their conversation. He gets two notes in before Jesse stops bothering to even pretend like he's paying attention. Kurt will never be able to sing on a real stage because of the simple fact that no one writes or was ever going to write something for his voice. So really, this is an even bigger lost cause.

The only thing that's not predictable about Hummel is that after getting his feedback (where Jesse promptly tells him exactly what he thinks) he doesn't stomp his foot or slap him.

Jesse rounds on Mr. Schuester again as Mercedes drags her way through another clichéd and lacklustre song choice. "Sectionals are child's play and might I remind you that a tie is not a win. At Nationals, Rachel is the only one who even stands a chance."

"I know Rachel is talented and of course she will perform. But we're a family and there are no favourite children."

Jesse resists the urge to laugh. The idea that any of these people actually care about each other is delusion even for Schuester's standards but he decides to play along anyway. "That's good because when you lose, and you _will _lose, you can all hold hands and offer each other words of comfort."

He sinks back in his chair as Mercedes walks, no – plods – off stage. He's kind of mildly interested in hearing what Quinn has been hiding from him because, as much as he refuses to admit it, something about her intrigues him. He's never heard her sing a solo before and doubts that her voice is anything more than subpar but she'd break the dismal monotony of the day and at least her insults would go beyond telling him to get a new haircut. Perhaps he'd call her _Quinnie_ just to push her buttons and then take credit for coaxing out a marginally better performance.

"Okay looks like we're almost done here, Rachel's up last," says Mr. Schuester as he stretches out his arms.

Jesse frowns in confusion. "Are you sure?"

"There were only four people on the signup sheet this morning." He hands Jesse the clipboard and it confirms there are in fact only four names.

He pushes all his thoughts out of his mind when he sees Rachel walk on stage looking right at him. The other reason he has endured this most unpleasant of tortures. He gives her a confident smile, knowing without doubt that she will get the solo. He'll make sure of it. When she tells him that she's not singing to anyone in particular, he still knows she is going to be fantastic - even if it does get that little bit harder for him to keep smiling. But he's a good enough actor to hide that and truthfully, he hadn't expected her to start talking to him so quickly after the egging anyway; he supposes that with girls like Rachel, who need to be indulged, things take time. As she prepares to sing, he leans over to Schuester.

"You know, I think you're kind of right about being a family – I understand that parents feel the need to live vicariously through their children in order gloss over their own inadequacies."

**...**

**Author's Note: Thanks for all the lovely reviews everyone, it always makes me happy to know that people are enjoying what I'm writing. Sorry for the lack of St. Fabray interaction in this chapter, but I promise there will be a lot of it coming up very shortly. I'll also try and post the next chapter sooner since this one was a little on the short side. Please do leave reviews and let me know what you think and if you like where I'm going with this :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Return to Sender, Damaged in Transit**

**...**

Quinn enters the hotel room she is sharing with Santana and Brittany. Through the thin walls, she can still make out her friend cursing in Spanish. This had been going on for hours; she'd eventually get Santana to calm down (without any help) and then either Finn or Rachel would just have to say something back, starting the whole thing all over again. Her arms are sore, stilettos have been jammed into her feet and she's pretty sure she has a few scratches but she draws the line at elbows being rammed into her chest.

She starts stuffing clothes into her bag, eager to finish packing before her roommates come back. This trip, in every single sense, has been a disaster. She knows she should have just told on Rachel and Kurt for sneaking out, it would have saved everyone a hell of a lot of trouble. When she finally zips up her suitcase, she strolls over to the window of her room to draw the curtains. Outside the cars are zooming down the road, people are bustling along the sidewalk and everywhere she looks she can see bright lights. It stirs something within her. Who gives Rachel the permission to be the only one destined for New York? With a sudden fervour Quinn strides over to her suitcase and sifts through the clothes she has just folded and packed. She frowns; everything she owns makes her look like a teenaged Midwest girl and that just won't do.

Santana is still yelling.

If she's going to carry out her plan, she needs to do it quickly before her newly found courage (recklessness) runs out. Quinn opens Santana's bag and inside she finds the more provocative clothes that her friend always wears to school. She picks out a skin-tight printed t-shirt making sure not to disturb too many clothes. She pairs the t-shirt with her own jeans and Santana's black knee high boots, before purposely doing her makeup to make herself look older. She takes one final look in the mirror, running a hand through her now shorter hair. With any luck no one will realise she has left.

Quinn grabs her purse and room key card and sneaks down the hallway as fast as she can. Suddenly she hears a door opening and she freezes; if Mr. Schuester sees her he'll realise what she's up to and she'll be confined to her room until they leave for their flight the next morning. She hears more yelling and the door slams shut, thankfully whoever it is doesn't come out. She hasn't decided where she's going or what she will do; all she knows is that if she's going to end up a Lima loser anyway, _she_ wants to be the one getting to see Manhattan by night. Before Rachel.

When the elevator reaches the lobby she quickly heads for the main entrance, hoping that the receptionist doesn't recognise her. As she steps out of the hotel, the breeze whips her hair and she tries to take in her surroundings. A lot of things look very different at night and Quinn's not really sure where she wants to go first or how she'll get there. The thought of using the subway alone at night makes her rather uncomfortable. She's rudely brought out of her thoughts when a large woman bumps into her, not even stopping to apologise as she continues past.

The real New York.

The people in front of her walk in a continuous stream of human traffic and every time she attempts to step in, someone gives her a dirty look and goes on their way. She can't help but feel out of her depth and well, perhaps this hasn't been the best of ideas. At least she's made it outside the hotel and that has to count for something.

"Well...aren't you the little rebel?"

She jumps and spins around, bumping into the heavy glass doors just as she gets a glimpse of his curls. "God you ass, you scared me half to death," she says, embarrassed that he's actually managed to catch her off guard.

"Good to know I haven't lost my touch." Jesse's dressed in a black t-shirt with rolled up sleeves, dark jeans and the cocky bastard smirk to match.

"Why are you here?" she asks with a sigh, rubbing her stinging elbow.

"I came to see Rachel."

She rolls her eyes; yet again she has come full circle. Apparently it _is_ too much to ask to go five minutes without being reminded of the brunette diva. "How did you know where to find her anyway?"

"Let's be honest she's never been good at keeping secrets – do you think she could resist posting every little detail on Facebook?" he asks casually. "The better question is...what are _you _doing out here? If I remember correctly you are on a school trip –"

She shrugs in response and breaks eye contact.

"– and these kinds of trips normally come with a curfew. It's 10 o'clock at night Quinn..." He looks at her, eyes teasingly staring her down.

"I just came out for some fresh air."

"Right. And I presume you always dress like this." He looks her up and down and she can't help but feel a little self-conscious. "_Not_ that I'm complaining of course – it suits you. Even the hair."

Subconsciously her hand goes up to her hair and she's strangely upset that it only reaches her jaw line now. "It was Santana's idea; it's supposed to make me feel better," she says flatly.

"How's that working out?"

"Not great. Maybe it takes a while to kick in," she deadpans.

She hears him chuckle softly. "Well, I wouldn't be able to do it."

"Not even for a role on Broadway?"

"Not even if it had the combined effect of winning four National titles – at once."

"Seriously, that's your point of reference?" she asks, raising an eyebrow.

He ignores her remark and just keeps talking. "Besides how many bald young men do you think are successful in theatre? This isn't Hollywood," he scoffs disdainfully. "But really, what are you doing out so late?"

"I came out here because I thought – if there was one less person stopping Santana from mauling Finn and Rachel, she might actually succeed." A wry smile crosses her face.

"Looks like I just can't get a straight answer from you," he says, a hint of a smile still on his lips.

"It's worked for me before." She defiantly holds his gaze.

"That makes two of us." He grins back at her before looking into the distance. "Listen...come with me."

"What?"

"You and me, we'll paint the town," he drawls, winking at her.

"And all that jazz?" She gives him an unimpressed look and he looks marginally amused that she's just made a theatre reference. So some of Rachel's mindless rambling has seeped through. Whatever. "I don't think so. I need to go back upstairs. Brittany may not notice that I'm gone, but the others will and they'll tell Mr. Schue."

"Are you afraid?"

"No." If he's trying to challenge her, and she's pretty sure he is, she's not going to back down that easily. "I just don't trust you."

He lets out a short, sharp laugh. "Come on Fabray, you've already made it out this far. Besides you turned down my offer last time, look how that turned out."

She looks at him through narrow eyes, trying to think of a way of stopping him from getting what he wants. "If we go back inside, I can tell you what room Rachel's in _and_ I'll protect you from Santana," she offers smiling playfully.

"As_ tempting_ as that sounds..." He rolls his eyes; he is getting far too good at reading her for her own comfort. "I've changed my mind; I want to see New York – with or without you. But it is in your best interest to join me."

She takes a long look back at the lobby and thinks of her teammates stuck in their rooms.

* * *

><p>Jesse's idea of 'painting the town' is strolling through the Theatre District, and she has no choice but to go along with it. However, unlike Kurt and Rachel, he doesn't go on extensively about the minutiae of every single theatre and every single play; Quinn can't help but think that maybe he too, if it's even possible, is a little bit in awe. After all, he's coming face to face with his dream and she wonders if some day she'll find something she wants just as badly. Perhaps he doesn't feel the need to justify anything to her – the way his eyes light up as they walk past billboards of Wicked, Hair and Phantom tells her everything about how much he wants <em>all <em>of it, more than the divas' guided tour ever could.

He only speaks every now and then, and somehow she feels comfortable walking next to him in relative silence. Because Jesse knows so little about her, she isn't obliged to behave in a certain way – she doesn't have to be the good student, the perfect Fabray daughter, the caring girlfriend or any other of the roles she often assumes when interacting with people.

Quinn is positive that they've passed the same diner at least twice before but Jesse either doesn't care or doesn't want to admit they're going in circles. Nevertheless she keeps walking, taking in the feeling of being in a real city, far away from strangling cesspool that is Lima.

"Hey about time you guys got here," says a female voice.

"Excuse me?" Quinn asks now staring at the red haired girl who has approached them. She looks to be in her early twenties and Quinn can smell the alcohol on her breath.

"Charlie's waiting; mind you everyone's already got a head start, especially Peter. We all bet him he couldn't try every shot on the menu without getting shitfaced," she laughs, staggering a little.

"I'm sorry you must be confu..."

"Lead the way," says Jesse smoothly as ever, cutting Quinn off. The woman turns around and begins walking towards the nearby bar.

"What, are you crazy? We can't just crash some bar," she whispers, but he is already walking briskly in front of her. "What if they get raided? Just because you're not in high school doesn't make you legal Jesse." She's practically jogging trying to keep up with him.

"You make valid points Quinn, but -" he turns around abruptly and she almost bumps into him, "- free drinks." He looks down at her expectantly, mischief dancing in his eyes. She opens her mouth to argue again but he grabs her hand and strides into the bar.

**...**

**Author's Note: I promised I'd update a little sooner, and I promised that Jesse and Quinn would be together in this chapter so I hope you all enjoy it. Seriously, writing banter between them is just too much fun. I hope you all can find the time to leave a review, it's always good to know that people are reading. I also like when I see a familiar name for a review, it means a lot that you keep coming back to this story. As always, thanks so much!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Return to Sender, Damaged in Transit**

**...**

When random redhead girl had said everyone had a head start, she hadn't been kidding.

The bar is packed and the music is blaring; as Quinn glances at all the strange faces in the room she involuntarily tightens her grip on Jesse's hand. A lot of people, including the redhead, are crowded around the bar and they seem to be cheering on a couple of men who are doing shots. Jesse manages to find an empty booth and allows her to sit down. "Jesse don't, you'll get carded. Look we're inside, we can just sit here -"

"Quinn, _trust_ me."

"The last time a guy said that to me, I ended up pregnant," she says dryly, keeping a firm grip on his hand.

"Well you're in luck; I don't sleep with drunks."

She opens her mouth to make a snide comment and suggest otherwise but her mind draws a blank – so she lets go of him and gives Jesse her best bitch smile. "Fine. You were our show choir consultant, which kind of makes you a staff member, which kind of makes you responsible for me. If we get in trouble - I'm blaming you."

"Me? I'm saying this whole thing was your idea. I can be very convincing." He winks and turns around to make his way over to the bar. Quinn closes her eyes and sighs, waiting for the moment the bouncer comes to show her to the door. When she opens them, Jesse is walking – no – strutting back to her, two beers in hand.

She grudgingly takes the bottle; his eyes are giving her such a haughty look, she almost wishes he was smirking instead.

* * *

><p>"Admit it Fabray, this is fun," he says before taking a long swig of his beer.<p>

"Yes, because getting drunk in some random dive bar with Jesse St. James is..._fun_."

"That's your opinion," he shrugs. As much as she hates to admit it, this is the most relaxed she's felt during the entire New York trip. There's no Finn to watch over, no Rachel to watch out for and no Kurt and Mercedes to watch her. It's wonderful. "And you're not drunk – I hope." He eyes her still half full bottle – he's already on his third. Quinn, on the other hand, figures Mr. Schuester will be less appreciative of her excuse for sneaking out if it comes out slurred. "Besides, I'll bet you you're having more fun than Rachel right now," he adds with a sly curve of his lips.

"Well obviously – she's with Finn." Quinn's eyes widen and Jesse lets out a sharp laugh as she realises that the snarky remark about her ex had in fact come from her. It feels familiar and more than that it feel _good_.

He relaxes into the seat and runs a hand through his hair. "How come you didn't audition that day?"

So he did notice.

"I...changed my mind," she says simply.

"Quinn, if you haven't already noticed – we are very much alike. Amongst other things, I too am good at playing it close to the chest. Of course it goes without saying that I can tell when I'm being lied to."

She levels his piercing gaze. "I am nothing like you," she says definitively, "and besides I heard about what you said to the others. It seems like I saved myself the trouble."

"You cannot improve without criticism and it's just ignorant to think otherwise," he shrugs.

"How did you get us these drinks anyway?" Yes, she changes the subject, whatever.

"God Quinn, it's called having an ID. This may be hard for you to believe, coming from Lima, but there's more to parties than just cheap mixers that taste like piss and sweaty teenagers' basements."

"I know that." She makes it a point to ingest the rest of her beer in one gulp. It goes straight to her head.

"Careful, I'd hate for you to get too ahead of yourself," he drawls with a smirk. "Anyway, back to why you didn't sing for me."

She rolls her eyes; clearly he isn't going to give up until she tells him. "Finn said he didn't want me 'taking your side.'"

"And you listened to him?"

"I...didn't want to lose him." It sounds even more stupid and pathetic when she says it aloud. And she hates herself for allowing Jesse to coax it out of her.

Jesse stops mid sip. "What I don't understand is why girls like you and Rachel, so beautiful and with so much potential, choose to settle for...that. McKinley is just fucked up."

For a moment Quinn's brain freezes; she's caught between being annoyed at the fact that he has grouped her and Rachel together and being surprised that Jesse St. James thinks she has potential. It really shouldn't be news to her, of course she has potential. For what exactly? Well, she's working on it and that's good enough for now. "Finn's popular, sweet and goofy in a cute way," she says regaining her voice.

"And these are uh – _qualities_ you value?"

She gives him a sideways glance. "Okay you've made your point. But I could ask you the same thing about Rachel. Sure she's talented and I get that you're _somehow_ attracted to that – but even you can't deny it was bitch move to get you to come all the way out here and then stick her tongue down Finn's throat, right in front of you."

His facial expression doesn't change even though she's being overly graphic just to spite him. "I agree that it was highly unprofessional and the Rachel I knew would never pull a stunt like that, especially when the stakes were that high. I don't claim to understand it. At least you had your back to the audience and weren't subjected to the display...some things just can't be...unseen," he says, the bitterness in his voice becomes just a little bit more tangible.

She smiles sardonically and drinks again. "I don't think the judges would've appreciated Santana vomiting mid performance."

"I beg to differ. She would've been...channelling the audience's emotions," he says making a gesture with his hands, "you guys might've placed eleventh."

Quinn covers her face as she laughs and she can hear Jesse joining along (it's one of the nicer sounds she's heard in a while) – the alcohol has to be kicking into gear. "I get it, you had it worse – but you can't talk to me about Finn without answering my question – _why_ are you still in love with Rachel?"

Yes it's definitely the alcohol.

"Who says –"

"I don't care how much cheating you do," she interrupts, "UCLA is a pretty hard place to get it into, especially with a scholarship – I have a hard time believing you flunked out because you're dumb."

The smile never leaves his face but for a second she sees something flicker in his eyes as he stares back at her. He takes a long sip of his beer and exhales loudly. "For the record, she didn't _make _me come here."

She makes a face.

He shrugs.

"Finn dumped me at a funeral," she says casually, as though they're discussing something as trivial as the weather. It's been on her mind and she figures she may as well tell Jesse about it, if only for the reason that he hates Finn and is likely to insult him in several creative ways. "And it wasn't even the it's-not-you-it's-me routine – no he took something that a woman wrote for her sister's _eulogy_ and turned it into a breakup line." She grits her teeth together as the image of the two of them in the car flashes vividly in her mind. She still hates herself for crying in front of him. For being weak in front of a boy who couldn't give two shits about her.

Jesse looks at her and he tilts his head in a way that she's not familiar with, almost as though he's analysing her. The small gesture makes her a little uncomfortable. "That must have been incredibly humiliating for you," he muses.

"No here's the humiliating part – I told him I'd stay with him while he worked through his obsession with her. Then he told me I have no feelings." She takes a particularly long swig of beer and loudly smacks her lips together. "Now that's just not true because you know what, I feel like taking his _tether_ and choking him with it." She doesn't bother explaining Finn's ridiculous plagiarised metaphor because even thinking about it makes her feel like throwing up. "I feel like bashing Rachel's head in until she really sees stars. I feel like telling my mother to shove a couple more pills down her throat and just end it already." Quinn closes her eyes and holds her head in her hands as her temple begins to throb." If he's stunned by her violent thoughts, he doesn't let on and simply continues drinking. "You were right, going to that funeral was a stupid idea," she says darkly. When she looks at him again, she sees that he's giving her a weak smile. It's only then that she realises that as much as she's hurting from Finn leaving her, Jesse – even if he is less than straightforward and doesn't show it – is hurting just as badly, if not more. At least she didn't waste her money on plane tickets. When she meets his gaze again she returns a small smile that silently acknowledges the mutual crapshoot of a year they've had.

"So –" he presses a finger to his lips "– let me get this straight. You were head cheerleader, dating the school quarterback and president of the celibacy club."

"Pretty much."

"Then you cheated on him with his best friend, got pregnant on your first time, slapped the very girl that your now ex-boyfriend claims to love again _and _he broke up with you at a funeral."

She raises an eyebrow in annoyance. "If you're trying to make a point St. James, get there faster."

A grin crosses his features. "Give it a couple more years Quinn and you could be the subject of a very successful _off_-off-Broadway musical."

Jerk.

She resists the urge to just be a full-on bitch to him because for the first time in a long time, she's having an honest conversation with someone and she's a little thankful that he's the one changing the subject. She goes with it. "You forgot the part where my own father kicked me out of the house and set the timer on the microwave as I packed."

Jesse raises his eyebrows and Quinn laughs with him (if she doesn't she's pretty sure she'll start crying) as she thinks about the calamity that the last two years of her life have been. "Of course I could say the same for you," she begins because well, being a little bitchy is fun and Jesse is still kind of a dick. "Dashing performer, shoo-in to take Broadway by storm, flunks out of college and comes back cross-country for the girl he's so _desperately_ in love with. You take her to junior prom, get into a public fight with her jaded ex and when you fly out to New York to support her, she's up there in bright lights –" she makes a purposely over the top gesture with both hands as though there's a stage in front of her "– kissing said ex. I don't think you should complain though; at least _your_ fight was actually set to music."

His jaw drops and he blinks a few times, the look on his face is just hilarious – she knows that he hadn't been expecting her to say that. She laughs again – he's actually speechless and she is all kinds of smug about it. "Naturally _my_ story is a good story," he says and she can tell he's trying to put his show face back on (but failing because the corners of his lips are twitching), "appropriately dramatic. A little heavy on the bathos maybe, but you're right – I wouldn't have it any other way."

"I'm sure you wouldn't."

"I don't judge you though," he says suddenly, the serious tone back in his voice, "for any of it."

Quinn, still laughing, raises a hand to her chest and gasps in mock surprise. "Jesse St. James – passing up such a golden opportunity?"

"Shocking I know," he says with a wry smile before draining the last of the beer from the bottle, "I just wanted you to know that."

Suddenly nothing's funny anymore and she awkwardly nods before busying herself with tracing the neck of her bottle with her finger. For the first time that night she begins to feel embarrassed; she would never have joked about herself like that with _anyone_ else and there's nothing to stop Jesse from using all of it against her sometime in the future. She knows he's a good actor and the fact that he's already gotten so much out of her is really quite frightening.

"Pete's on his tenth shot – a round of Jager bombs on him!" yells out one of the guys at the bar and everybody starts to cheer. 'Pete' is sitting (swaying) at the bar, looking like he's one drink away from blacking out. Soon two large glasses filled with a golden drink are placed on their table along with two smaller dark shot glasses that contain what she thinks is alcohol.

"What is this?" Quinn asks.

Jesse grimaces as she inspects her two glasses. "It's a shot; you drop this –" he explains picking up the dark shot glass "– into the Red Bull and drink up."

Huh.

Without thinking twice Quinn drops the shot glass into the larger glass, squeezes her eyes shut and chugs, waiting for the alcohol to burn her throat. It never does – in fact it goes down smooth, almost surprisingly so. When she opens her eyes, she is instantly buzzed; Jesse watches her with a mixture of alarm and amusement. "Your turn."

He chuckles. "No thanks, I'd like to make it back to my hotel room tonight."

"Your loss," she shrugs, pulling his glasses towards her. "My gain."

**...**

**Author's Note: A massive thanks to everyone who's sticking with this story - I know St. Fabray is not a super popular ship. Please, even if you've added this to your alerts, do leave a review. Any feedback is always appreciated. Quinn doesn't hold alcohol very well does she?**


	7. Chapter 7

**Return to Sender, Damaged in Transit**

**...**

Her head is swimming; she's never gotten rid of Angry Drunk Quinn this fast before. She can't remember how many shots she's had (she's pretty sure Jesse gave her a few extra) and now she's finding it extremely difficult to focus on her surroundings. "We should get a cab," says Jesse as he looks down either end of the street.

"Why?" she asks drawing out the word into a whine. "We walked here."

"Yes Quinn, but standing up wasn't a problem then."

She spins around to look at him. "I feel like I can run a mile. You know I've never really understood why people like Red Bull so much. Now I totally get it – it gives you _wings_."

"That I'll agree with," he laughs ,"during the lead up to Nationals, Shelby made sure we consumed a cocktail of Red Bull and coffee round the clock. She was kind enough to make it for us herself you know, mostly because we were all on IVs, but also because the proportion of each drink had to be incredibly precise. Too much Red Bull and your heart could stop mid solo; too much coffee and you'd constantly be running to the bathroom between dance numbers. Thrilling stuff really."

"Whatever," she slurs, waving her hand dismissively, "you haven't tried the Sue Sylvester Master Cleanse – guaranteed to make you lose ten pounds and your soul in one week."

He rolls his eyes and drapes an arm around her shoulder; she's not entirely comfortable with it and though her first instinct is to push him away, she decides against it. "Listen, we'll walk until we find a taxi stand okay," he says, guiding her through the now thinner crowd of people.

"Okay," she nods heavily, "because I think I'm drunk."

"You _think_ you're drunk?" he asks, wearing an amused grin.

It's true though. She has never felt like this before; so maybe she is drunk, she can tell that much, but she feels so awake at the same time that it makes her forget she's drunk. Jesse, having stuck to beer, seems to be slightly more sober and is doing the best he can to stop her from swaying too much. The last thing they need is for a policeman to get suspicious. As they walk they talk more, mostly about their exes' _many_ faults and at one point Quinn's pretty sure she mentions something about the rumour that Finn prayed to a sandwich god in hopes of getting to second base.

Jesse laughs about this for almost an entire block.

* * *

><p>"What else is on your mind Quinn?" asks Jesse as they keep walking.<p>

She looks up at him and chews on her bottom lip to stop herself from grinning. "It's a secret."

If it was possible for Jesse's ears to prick up, they absolutely would have because she can see he's beyond intrigued by her words. "Tell me," he says, eyes lighting up. She shakes her head and looks away. She's been a tease for most of her life and she's not above using it to screw with him. "I'll trade you, secret for secret," he says, raising both eyebrows suggestively.

Now it's her turn to be interested and she's wondering what exactly he's willing to tell her. Something embarrassing about Rachel? Or even better, something embarrassing about himself? Her mind races to try and actually come up with something that could pass as her own secret. "Okay," she leans in a little closer so she can whisper, "when you egged Rachel I wasn't _that_ upset."

"Then what was your reason for being so hostile?" he asks, smirking slightly.

"Because I had to clean up all that damn toilet paper."

* * *

><p>He finally manages to hail a cab and when he stuffs her in, she promptly slumps against the window, finally feeling the alcohol as the effects of the Red Bull wear out. She stares out of the cab and everything is a bright blur that makes her increasingly nauseous so she turns to face him instead. His brow is furrowed and he seems to be deep in thought; she wonders if he's thinking about Rachel. After all he had intended to see her before he met Quinn. She leans her head back in the seat and closes her eyes to stop the spinning.<p>

"Do you think it's bad that _Santana_ took the whole kiss thing worse than I did?" she asks, eyes still shut.

"No."

Quinn opens her eyes to look at Jesse but he's turned away from her, head leaning on the glass of the window. She must have some kind of compulsive urge to be miserable because really, there's no reason for her to bring that up and ruin the night. Her mood takes a turn for the worse and Angry Drunk Quinn comes back in full force when her thoughts drift to Finn. She had been so close to regaining _everything_ at the start of the year, she'd stuck to the plan and then just like that, she'd given it all up.

She'd broken up with Puck as her first step; even though he had said he loved her and they fought a lot less over the summer, something about being around him made her think of the little baby girl she'd held that one night. It happened a little too often and – it was so much easier to cry over a boy.

Quinn had done everything right after that. She'd gotten her body back, literally fought her way back to the top of the Cheerios and started dating the newest popular guy at school – all whilst being on honor roll.

Sam, without doubt, is a great guy and more than anything she wishes she'd had more time – every morning when she'd put on his ring, she'd pray that it would be the day she fell in love with him because he was good to her and good for her. It would've been the smart thing to do. But it scared her, how much he loved her and well, what if one day he just...stopped...and realised he could do better than a cheating ex-babymama? And suddenly there was Finn, single, being a winning quarterback and telling her how he was 'proud' of her. Looking back, she wishes she hadn't set her goals so high at the start of the year; she hadn't intended to try and win Finn back, but when the possibility arose – that she could have him and pick up where they left off, completing disregarding those nine months, that she wouldn't have to think about Sam wanting to leaving _her_ – she couldn't resist.

Kissing Finn was comfortable. And familiar.

Quinn had _really_ tried with Finn. It's probably why everything hurts so much more this time around. Seeing Finn and Rachel made her bitter and angrier than ever before. She had no baby bump that she could talk to even if it couldn't hear her and her conversations with Finn never strayed beyond the 'safe' topics like copying homework, what was for dinner and whether or not he could touch her boobs. Anything else would inexplicably lead back to Rachel. And that always meant more fighting.

The worst part is that, apart from Santana, no one even cares that Finn and Rachel screwed up Nationals. When Quinn had made the Glist, Mr. Schuester was so angry because it 'hurt other people.' Clearly that kiss didn't because he didn't say one thing about it; if anything she knows that he felt pity because, obviously, it must have been so hard for Finn and Rachel to deny their feelings for an entire year whilst simultaneously fucking with everyone around them. Rachel takes Quinn's boyfriend _again_ and again _Rachel_ is the victim.

Quinn doesn't understand it. At all.

Her stomach lurches as the taxi stops, jolting her out of her thoughts – they've parked in front of the hotel. Jesse opens the door and she watches him take a few unsteady steps before he leans on the car to tell the driver to wait.

"Looks like someone's had too much St. James," she says, slurring his last name.

"_I've_ had too much?" He offers her a hand; Quinn takes it and follows him to the hotel entrance. "Do you need me to walk you up?" asks Jesse.

She shakes her head and runs a hand through her hair, thinking of what is the appropriate way to part with him. She'd certainly had a good time, even if the ride back had mostly been in silence, but somehow a simple 'thank you' seems a little lame. His blue eyes watch her intently and he looks as though he's about to say something more.

He doesn't.

"I wish I had danced with you at prom – Rachel's a moron." She doesn't know why she chooses to say it or if it'll even mean anything to him and what makes it worse is that her voice barely comes out as a whisper.

His eyes widen ever so slightly before their expression softens and he gives her a small smile. "Good night Quinn."

She feels his hand slip out of hers and suddenly she has the urge to ask "Good night or goodbye?"

He shrugs, the slight curve of his lips giving him an air of mystery (she's sure he's doing it on purpose), and turns around to get back into the car. Once she's inside the lobby, she sees the taxi drive away – she doesn't even know where he's going. She'd been so wrapped up in her own thoughts that she hadn't even asked about where he's staying or when he's going back to Ohio. _If_ he's going back to Ohio. And wait...he didn't even tell her his secret.

Ass.

Apart from the security guards and the receptionist, the lobby is empty and it takes all of Quinn's concentration to get into the elevator without swaying. It's a stroke of luck that she ends up outside the right room. Her body is ready to give out and she has a feeling it isn't picky about whether or not she gets to her bed first.

After about the tenth attempt (the first few consist of her card missing the slot completely), the door handle flashes green and her card is accepted. The lights are off and she sees a dark mass on one of the beds that looks like Santana. Or Brittany. Or Santana and Brittany. She can't tell.

* * *

><p>Quinn awakes to the sounds of suitcases being zipped up. She opens her eyes to see what's going on and immediately regrets it; the bright sunlight only serves to make her throbbing head worse.<p>

"Quinn you really should get up, Mr. Schue says we're leaving for the airport in an hour and I don't want you to miss the plane," says a voice she recognises as Brittany. She mumbles an answer and sits up to go to the bathroom. Somehow she doesn't have Santana's boots or t-shirt on anymore – she is only in her jeans and bra. She definitely has no memory of undressing. Her eyes feel sticky and when she looks in the mirror she groans, realising that what she had been dreading is true – she had passed out with her makeup still on.

After washing her face, brushing her teeth and grabbing the first t-shirt she can find, Quinn flops back on her bed and puts on her sunglasses. She should have splurged her mother's money on a new pair, because these ones are awful and barely keep the light out.

The door opens and Santana enters carrying trays of hotel toiletries and complimentary chocolates, biscuits and three-in-one coffee sachets. "Here stuff these in too Britt-Britt," she says, handing the blonde several bottles of shower gel and shampoo.

"I snuck some toast out for you Quinn," says Brittany as she sits on her bag, trying to close it with her favourite kitten pillow peeking out the side.

"Thanks but I don't think I could eat anything right now," Quinn replies shutting her eyes again; even the thought of food makes her feel ill. Seconds later she hears the door slam, causing a sudden spike in the intensity of her headache – when she looks up Santana is giving her a less than sincere smile.

Bitch.

It isn't like Santana doesn't borrow her things for extended periods of time before deciding that instead of 'borrow' she really means 'take' so whatever, she has no right to be pissed. Quinn is busy thanking the heavens that she had had the sense to pack last night when she hears Santana speak again. "Here take these," says the Latina before Quinn feels something smack her in the stomach. Suppressing the desire to throw up, her eyes flicker open painfully and she tries to inspect what exactly has been thrown at her.

Sunglasses.

"But Santana I already have –"

"Shut the fuck up and take them Q."

Not in the mood to argue, Quinn puts on them on without further discussion.

The lenses are darker.

**...**

**Author's Note: Wow, thank you so much for the big positive response to the last chapter! It really means so much. Up next - Quinn's summer. Reviews are love :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Return to Sender, Damaged in Transit**

**...**

She's done with being hung up on Finn. Quinn knows he's not even close to being worth it anymore and they've barely said two words to each other since the whole kiss thing anyway. He'd made an attempt at an apology but she'd shot him down quickly and turned around and walked away. It'd be a lie. Clearly he's not really sorry because he's with Rachel. She's even done with amusing herself with interesting ways to kill the midget diva. (Mostly.) If the final glee club rehearsal of the year has told her anything, it's that every _single_ aspect of her life now involves either Finn or Rachel and like godforsaken zombies, no matter how many times she shoots them in the face, they just keep coming back. Finn she can understand, his skull is so thick it's probably bulletproof, but she honestly doesn't know how _Rachel _manages it. Unless her nose somehow causes enough of a deflection. Either way, it has to end. Like right now.

Senior year is going to be about _her_, and not them.

But before that she has the entire summer to get though and she has no intention of seeing anyone from McKinley for most of it. Sure Mr. Schue mentioned that they could meet up over the summer 'for fun' but school's over and Quinn's not going back. This of course doesn't include the fact that she's signed up for a couple of summer AP courses, but it's not as though she'll run into anyone from glee club there anyway.

She hasn't really given her night with Jesse, or what she can remember of it, much thought. Yes she now has his phone number (she doesn't recall ever asking him for it) but she doesn't have a good enough reason to call him. Part of her thinks that's exactly what he wants anyway. There's the other nagging part of her that keeps thinking of him though. The part of her that scrolls past his name every now and again. She's doing her best to ignore it – she's good with repression – then again, look how that turned out. In fact there was that one time last weekend where she had meant to call Brittany and accidentally dialled his number instead.

She'd hung up before the call could even be connected.

It's annoying and not to mention, confusing for her to deal with. With summer classes, college applications and SAT tests coming up, he should be the last thing on her mind. Quinn figures she'll just wait it out until Jesse decides to leave Lima for good. From what he'd said to her during their night in New York, it can't be much longer.

It's just as Judy is saying grace during dinner that she hears her phone ring; she almost drops it when she sees Jesse's name on the screen. At first Quinn decides to just let it ring, except that Jesse continues to call several times after and her mom gives her a look that tells her to either answer or get back to praying. She excuses herself to her room and finally picks up.

"Yes?" she asks, sounding a lot more sure of herself than she actually is.

"Quinn, it's been too long."

"Why are you calling me?" she asks, shutting her bedroom door and laying on her bed. So she goes straight to the point and is probably a little bitchier than she intends to be but...old habits die hard. That and he just got her two psalms worth of reading out loud. It's a ridiculous routine that her father had started and if Judy knew better, she would stop it. Neither Quinn nor her mother really should be reading those verses anyway. But they don't talk about much else and at least it fills time before the usual conversation about school and work.

"Well two weeks have passed since our little night out and you haven't called me." His tone is casual and light, as always, but she swears she hears a hint of an accusation. She really doesn't know why she feels a little guilty – she shouldn't.

"I haven't had a reason," she shrugs, trying to keep her voice as indifferent as possible.

"And now you don't need one. How've you been?"

She swallows and comes out with a stiff "Alright I guess." They've never really had to make small talk before, Finn and Rachel have always been the catalysts for their conversations, and she isn't entirely sure where this is going.

"I take it you're done with school?"

They talk about McKinley a little, it leads to them both criticising the place, him for its subpar stage lights, her for well, everything else. For a while, everything is normal again. She's beginning to think that the only way they can talk is if they're commenting on the faults of others. What that says about the kind of people they are, she doesn't want to know. It's only when he asks her to have coffee with him that it stops being easy and Quinn kind of hates herself for putting on the brakes and telling him no. It's not as though coffee actually translates into anything but she'd still be out, with a boy, and boys are not supposed to be a part of her summer. She'd already let Jesse in too far that night and to continue now would just be setting herself up for failure.

"Look Jesse," she says, shifting so that she's sitting up again. "That night was fun. A lot of fun. But that was New York and this is Lima and..." Her voice trails off as she struggles to come up with a good enough reason not to see him again.

"I always thought you were clever Quinn. Are you taking AP Geography?" he asks and she can practically hear the smirk in his voice. His tone's different too; unlike anything she's heard when he's spoken to her...he sounds more like he does when he's speaking to Finn.

Quinn takes in a deep breath to keep from snapping at him (she knows he's fishing for a reaction from her) and calmly says "It's not as if we're friends." It comes out a little harsher than she intends but she's not just going to sit there and take his passive-aggressive crap. She's smarter than that.

"You're right, we're not friends." There's a slight pause before he continues. "But I don't like thinking of you upstairs in your room hating the world all the time." Quinn's a little taken aback by his words and she bets he's being abrasive on purpose. But how can he just expect her to have coffee with him? She hasn't been out for coffee with a boy in well, forever. They'd probably go to the Lima Bean where of course, they'd see either Kurt or Mercedes or Santana and then the rumours would fly. She doesn't need that. She doesn't need anyone talking about how she's gunning for Rachel's leftovers. Quinn feels bad for turning him down but at the same time he's being an ass and fuck, it's stupid how one phone call has her so wound up. "What are your plans for the rest of the summer anyway?" he asks, snapping her out of her thoughts.

She's not going to let him on to the fact that he's causing her so much internal conflict. The best defence? Offence. "I'm doing something worthwhile with my time like you know, getting a job. A _real_ job."

And...Point to Miss Fabray.

She's pretty sure Jesse catches onto her not so subtle insinuation. He's hardly Finn. Nevertheless, he doesn't seem dissuaded in the slightest. "Good for you. And what is this job you speak of?"

"I'm going to work at the public library," she says, lifting her chin at the very mention of it. And yes, she is proud of it. It had taken a lot of convincing to get the head librarian to even consider hiring someone who had no experience, and while she isn't exactly going to be a proper librarian, it's better than nothing. More than that, it's a hell of a lot better than being a church camp counsellor. She'd done that last year, after getting rid of the baby fat, and while it reassured her of her faith, it also made her spend countless hours with children. Crying, homesick, tantrum throwing children. She'd had to focus _really_ hard on the whole faith part to cancel out the irony of the situation and at least at the library, she'll be getting paid.

"Interesting. You chose this because it's unlikely that anyone from McKinley will come in for a bit of 'summer reading' right?"

Technically yes. But she isn't about to tell him that.

Neither of them says anything for a good minute and she hears him take in a deep breath. When did she get so awkward when talking to boys? It's her that has people speechless, not the other way around. And why on earth does she feel like she owes him something? "Jesse –" She's interrupted by her mother knocking on the door and telling her dinner's getting cold and that it's inappropriate to just leave and shut herself in her room. "How much of that did you hear?" she asks him softly, wincing a little.

"Enough."

Her mother knocks again and Quinn tells her she'll be down soon. "I have to go Jesse."

"Yeah okay." He hangs up before she can say goodbye and she surprised by her own disappointment. She's pretty sure she's never been hung up on before. But at the end of the day, like they both agreed, they're not really friends. They're not really enemies either. She's sure of that.

After dinner, she checks her phone, just in case.

_No recent calls._

Quinn stares at the ceiling for a whole hour, telling herself that the only reason she keeps checking her phone is to see what time it is and how many more hours there are before she has to get up.

**...**

**Author's Note: He has an ego and she denies everything. Dear me. This is where we start getting a little AU. I'm not going to include Skank!Quinn, only because I had planned this story out over the summer. Besides I've got another idea in my head for that ;) I hope you all enjoy reading this and take the time to leave a review :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Return to Sender, Damaged in Transit**

**...**

First impressions are important. Quinn knows this better than anyone. It's why she'd tried out for the Cheerios straightaway during freshman year. It's why she always makes sure to get As in the first semester. It's also why she decides to show up for work at the library half an hour early. She knows she'll be working under Ellen, a librarian in her fifties, and from what Quinn had seen of her at the interview, apart from the woman's fondness for argyle, she seemed like a nice enough person.

"Follow me, I'll show you to the front desk." Ellen goes on to make small talk about the summer and Quinn responds politely, focusing more on her new surroundings. "It's so nice to have another young adult working with us, shows the rest of them that libraries aren't just for people who can't use the internet," says Ellen.

"Wait, I'm _another _young adult?"

"Well yes. You see a couple of days after I hired you; I was approached by a young man who said he's always been interested in working here but never lived close enough. He started a few days ago."

No.

It can't be.

Just – no.

As Quinn turns the corner, she realises that in fact it's a yes. Jesse St. James is sitting right there, scanning a few books and despite herself, she gasps.

"Jesse, this is the girl I was telling you would be joining today. Quinn this is Jesse."

His eyes meet hers and the corners of his lips instantly turn upwards. "Quinn," he says standing up and extending his hand, "Nice to meet you."

She's pretty much in shock as she raises her hand for him to shake and of course, he's grinning the entire time. The feel of his skin against her own snaps her out of her daze though and it's then that she realises that instead of dumbstruck, she _should_ be really, really pissed at him.

She was here first.

"Now Quinn, Jesse has some previous experience with libraries and I'm sure he'd be happy to help if you have any difficulties," says Ellen. Jesse nods sagely and if it was possible, Quinn's pretty sure her body would have burst into flames by now. Ellen continues talking and Quinn is too busy staring at him to comprehend what the older woman is saying. "If he can't, then just dial 5 on the phone and I'll come over." With that Ellen turns and makes her way upstairs, leaving Jesse and Quinn alone.

Quinn's not really sure what to say – their last conversation had ended on less than good terms but Jesse just smiles up at her, patting the chair next to him. It makes her face heat up and she suddenly can't bring herself to accuse him of stealing her idea. Clearly she's not going to get a break from all the confusion any time soon.

"Fancy seeing you here Quinn," he says without looking at her, focusing instead on a pile of returned books in front of him.

"Yeah. Some coincidence," she says sarcastically. "Why?" She's asking more out of curiosity than anything else; she needs to know why he's so keen on spending so much time with her.

He just shrugs.

* * *

><p>As the days go by, Quinn begins to realise that things aren't exactly okay between them. Sure Jesse is just as casual as ever but for how much he normally talks, he never says more than two sentences to her at a time now. It also becomes painfully obvious that he has no interest whatsoever in working at a library – he develops the inane ability to blame her for when things go wrong. When the alarms go off because he forgets to properly check out books for a class of junior school kids, Quinn finds herself dealing with crying children, an angry summer school teacher and an annoyed Ellen all at once. It feels like he's giving her the cold shoulder without even really trying. She hates it. Everything about him is so confusing for her – most of all why she's so concerned that he's annoyed with her, because really it shouldn't matter at all.<p>

One day she just cannot take it anymore.

"Quinn, I know you are still new here but you need to rescan all of the books that are returned _before_ they get shelved," says Ellen, almost glaring at Quinn over the top of her glasses. "Otherwise, the online catalogue and our records become redundant."

"I know that," replies Quinn, trying to keep an even tone and a passive face, "but that's Jesse's job."

Ellen turns to Jesse and he immediately looks at her wide eyed. "You'll have to forgive me, you see Quinn –"

"No," Quinn cuts in, "you are not pinning this one on me. I was all the way over in the pre-K section; I'm not supposed to be on desk duty."

"Yes but you forgot to wear your cardigan today," he says smoothly, "I took one look at those shoulders and well, I could barely remember what time of day it was, let alone how to deal with overdue books."

* * *

><p>"I can't believe you got us demoted to shelving," grits out Quinn, slamming a worn out volume of 'War and Peace' back into its place.<p>

"Technically you got demoted to shelving. I'm doing you a favour by volunteering to help."

She turns to give Jesse her well practised ice queen stare and sees that he's leaning against the shelf, eyes fixed on her face. "Did I do something to you?" she asks as she rolls up the sleeves of her now permanent cardigan, because his behaviour is annoying her to no end and she might as well deal with it now.

"No."

"Then why are you acting like this?"

"Like what?" He looks at her all innocent and she knows he's playing dumb on purpose.

"Oh my god, stop this!" She pretty much yells it and a lot of the readers stare up at them, clearly annoyed at having the quiet atmosphere being disturbed, by the staff no less. "I don't want these stupid games anymore Jesse, why are you here?" she asks, trying to keep her voice under control.

A small smirk graces his features. "You've been on my mind Quinn."

"Then save it for when you're home alone." She tries to cover up her little outburst by being mean; she's pretty sure it comes out more like flustered. "There's really no need for you to be here," she argues weakly. He looks even more amused now and this is ridiculous; she can't intimidate or outsmart Jesse like all the other boys she's been with and now she really has no idea what to do.

"Actually there is. You see I need the money and despite what my father says, I refuse to earn it writing names on coffee cups. Plus you set such a good example with your...self sufficiency, I couldn't help but follow," he says, giving her a one shouldered shrug before spinning on his heels and walking into the next aisle.

For how much of a tease Quinn has been since high school, she'd never even thought that she'd end up being the 'teasee.'

* * *

><p>It's 2am at night when she <em>finally<em> figures out why he's being so cold.

So the next morning, before the crowd of people get in, she corners him between two of the non-fiction shelves. "I'm only going to say this once so you better listen." The words escape her mouth before she can stop them but maybe it's not so bad, because she actually wants to sort this out. Jesse quirks an eyebrow and she takes it as a cue to continue. "I know that after all the time we've spent together I should be okay with getting coffee in Lima but I'm not and I can't explain why. I'm not sure _I_ know either. It doesn't mean I don't want to so...I'm sorry." She says it all without even taking a breath; she wants to believe that it's why the last two words come out particularly quiet.

Jesse takes a second and blinks before giving her a slight nod like he gets it. If anything, it makes her nerves worse thinking he understands something about her that even she doesn't. "So you want to make all of this a little more interesting?" he asks. She's confused and he must pick up on it because he elaborates. "I suggest we make shelving a contest. First person to put away all their books correctly wins."

She's not sure whether she should be annoyed that he's brushing over an apology that was really fucking hard for her to make or thankful he's not making a big deal out of it. But if _he_ can find it in himself to overlook drama, well she can too. "Fine. If I win, you look for a job somewhere else." She says it with a faint smile and it seems to work because he laughs a little and rolls his eyes.

"Suit yourself Fabray. I'll decide what I get after I win. And I will win."

"I wouldn't be so cocky at your next job interview St. James, you come don't come off very well." The tightness in her chest that she's been feeling around him eases up for the first time in weeks and as she watches Jesse divide up the letters of the alphabet between the two of them, she's grateful. He hands her a list of letters and she quickly scans it. "Wait, how come you get Q,U,X,Y and Z and I get letters like A,S and T? Do you know how many books start with 'the'?"

"No, but after this I'm sure you'll be able to tell me."

* * *

><p>She loses by an entire eight minutes.<p>

Needless to say she's stuck with Jesse for the rest of the summer. Apart from his constant gloating and smug smirks, maybe it's not the worst thing in the world. Of course, there's the part of her that's dreading what he's going to ask for in return but whenever she brings it up, he says he's still deciding so she's not going to push.

In fact now that she's on his good side again, Jesse shows her many ways to get away with pretending to work. Quinn knows she shouldn't be slacking but sometimes (especially when the kids from church camp come in) it's fun to just sit on the floor with him between the rows of dusty psychology books, talking about both everything and nothing.

When she thinks he's not looking, she sneaks a glance at him from out of the corner of her eye. His hair is a lot shorter now and she has the sudden urge to tease him about it, if only to wipe the ever-present grin off of his face. "So did you take Santana's advice too?" she asks, eyeing the stray curl that hangs over his forehead.

"No," he scoffs, "but if I did, I'd tell you she doesn't make for a very good life coach." He picks up 'A History of Madness' and begins to look through it. One thing that's different about Jesse is that he's so difficult to read and the smallest of his gestures, whilst seemingly insignificant probably aren't. "Clearly you've been taking advice from all the wrong people," he says, idly flipping a page.

"I don't need anyone's advice." She tries to keep her tone casual and she's still trying to figure out whether she likes or hates the fact that he's so blunt with her.

"Well then maybe _that's_ your problem." He puts the book back down and turns his whole body to fully focus on her. "Perhaps I can help."

She eyes him warily, noticing he's way too eager and she knows that look, she gets it all the time when she's plotting something."You want to help me? Okay. You can start with the dishes tonight," she replies with a sweet smile.

"I'd be happy to. It'd be the least I could do after your generous dinner invitation." Her smiles drops when he twists her words and he laughs a little, eyes falling shut as he does so. And wow, she's really not prepared for just how good he looks doing it; the fact that his face is so close to hers is not helping either. "Jokes aside Quinn, you need a new mentor – a _good_ one."

She's pretty sure she knows where he's going with this and honestly she should just stop him from continuing right now. "Who you?" she asks sceptically.

"I assure you, I come with excellent references."

She laughs out loud, despite the library's quiet policy because, _what?_

Yes she is a lot more comfortable around him now and maybe they can work their way up to actually having coffee sometime but if Jesse thinks he can just waltz in and start tinkering with her life like he did with Rachel's, he is beyond mistaken. She tells him so and he promptly goes into a lengthy explanation of how he'd be a 'good influence' based on the fact that he ruled Carmel for four years and wasn't slushied even once at McKinley.

It hardly counts.

* * *

><p>"Whatever <em>grandma<em>. I'm not here to have my questions answered by you, now show me where Quinn Fabray is or I'll file a complaint about a little asbestos problem this library may be having. My dad's a doctor you know."

Quinn recognises that voice almost instantly and soon enough a fuming Ellen is storming towards her, telling her that two cheerleaders of questionable morals are waiting to see her. Sure enough when Quinn reaches the front desk, Santana and of course, Brittany are right there. "Hey Q, guess you really do work here now," says Santana with a grin.

"Yeah so?" Quinn folds her arms and levels the Latina's piercing gaze.

"So nothing. Brittany wants to borrow a few books. Isn't that right Britt-Britt?"

The blonde nods eagerly. "Yeah Quinn, can you help me find 'Freakonomics'?"

Quinn raises an eyebrow. "Really? _That's_ what you want to read?"

"Oh it's not for me. It's for my cat. He's thinking of broadening his horizons by keeping up with today's economic climate."

Quinn just nods stiffly and after a quick search on the online catalogue shows Brittany the aisle where the book is located. "I can't _believe_ you're here to spy on me Santana," Quinn whispers as Brittany wanders off to check out the book.

"The fuck ever Q, we were on our way back from cheer camp and Brittany wanted a book so I brought her here. I don't see anything wrong with that."

"Oh sure, and you just happened to ask the librarian to see me."

"Well yeah, you're my friend," the Latina drawls, wrapping an arm around Quinn's waist, "and I figured you could get things done a little faster for us. Also Britt and I need to sign up for a library card and yeah, I'm sure you know there's a registration fee. It'd be nice if that went away."

Quinn rolls her eyes and removes the girl's arm, knowing that by entering Santana's name into the system and giving her a pass to walk into the library whenever, she's pretty much signing her own death warrant.

Just as the cards are printing, Jesse walks in dumping a few books in front of her. "I still haven't thought about what I want from you Fabray," he says with a smirk, before taking a seat behind the desk. Quinn's not sure why she freezes but the entire time she watches Santana; an almost murderous grin has spread across her friend's face and her eyes flick from Jesse to Quinn.

"Hi Jesse," says Brittany, giving him a small wave.

It's only then that he seems to realise who's actually standing in front of him and he smiles back at the bubbly blonde. "Brittany, nice to see you again. How've you been?"

"Awesome."

"And what about Lord Tubbington?" he asks with a pleasant smile. Jesse couldn't remember the names of most _people_, since when did he start paying attention to things about cats?

Jesse and Brittany go into an in depth conversation; Quinn's pretty sure she hears him throw in a few flirtatious double entendres but she can't focus on them because as they speak Santana's leaning in closer to her.

"So it's true, you are here with St. Hairspray," she whispers, eyes lighting up.

"We work together. That's all."

"Sure. Just like Puck used to work with his cougars."

"He only did that because he wasn't satisfied with what he was getting from his actual relationship – with you."

Santana smiles and tilts her head. "I guess you're right Q. I mean he _did_ spend an entire semester fucking my _brains_ out when he was dating you."

Quinn wants to say that she wasn't aware Santana had brains to fuck out but she's at work and they're going to be seniors and well, it's kind of crazy that they still go at each other like this. Instead, she rolls her eyes and somewhat hesitantly hands over the two new library cards. "I knew it, you are here to spy."

"I'm stuck in Lima for the summer and since Finept and his troll make me want to barf, this is the only entertainment I got. Sue me."

"Whatever. Just don't start telling people things."

"As if you don't enjoy having everyone talking about you."

They're interrupted by Brittany bursting out laughing and suddenly Santana's glaring at Jesse and leading the other cheerleader out of the library in a hurry. When Jesse just shrugs, Quinn sees that Brittany's left her book so she rushes to catch up with them. She grabs Santana's wrist and turns her around. "We're not _together_ Santana," she says, keeping her gaze fixed on the Latina's face even as she hands over the book to Brittany.

"Not yet."

**...**

**Author's Note: Sorry for all the time jumps, but I really wanted to get the story moving a little. As always, please do leave a review and let me know your thoughts and feelings about this :D**


	10. Chapter 10

**Return to Sender, Damaged in Transit**

**...**

Santana and Brittany become permanent fixtures.

Jesse doesn't seem to mind; much to Santana's ire he and Brittany get along, as well as Quinn's seen him get along with just about anybody. Quinn's fine with Brittany being around too; it's Santana that's her problem. Even when Britt is browsing through shelves of books, Santana sits exactly where she can easily observe Quinn. That's right. _Observe._ Whenever Quinn and Jesse would talk, Quinn would glance over and the Latina would give her a wide smile, bearing all her perfectly white teeth and watching their every move.

It's unnerving to say the least.

Quinn can't even do anything about it. It's not like she can kick someone out for just sitting and being quiet. And the bitch knows it.

So when Ellen asks if she and Jesse would be willing to pick up a shipment of books at the mall, she jumps at the opportunity. It's the mall at Lima, so it hardly counts as anything extraordinary but it's nice to go out and still get paid to do it.

"Thank god," she sighs, leaning into the seat of his Range Rover. "I cannot take another second of Big Brother."

"I find it quite flattering really."

"Oh that's right; I forgot how close you and Brittany suddenly are."

He barks out a laugh. "Close? She just happens to be incredibly annoying in an entertaining sort of way – that's more than I can say for the rest of the New Directions," he adds with a sideways glance. "Also because she always needs help, not just with books I'll admit, Ellen commends my efforts to improve my already outstanding interpersonal skills."

"You're taking advantage of Britt to make yourself look better?" she asks with a raised eyebrow. He ignores her question and simply focuses on the road in front. Yes Brittany isn't the brightest but that doesn't mean _Jesse_ should benefit from it; Quinn makes a mental note to spend more time with the blonde from now on. "What about Santana?" she asks, because really she's curious to hear what he actually has to say about the members of the glee club.

"Raging bitch. But there is something to be admired about her lack of concern for just about everybody. Ironically, that's why her performances lack any kind of real depth."

He's so nonchalant about everything he says and Quinn wonders if he ever thinks of her in that sort of way too. She's willing to bet he does; he's just a good enough actor to hide it. She leans her head against the window, thinking about the last time she was in this car and how different things were then. For one thing, Jesse's arrogance had been beyond irritating, now it's…less so. Finn and slapping and prom all seem so far away. She hasn't seen Finn since school ended and has no intention of doing so either. She knows he's still with Rachel and she's going to make it a point to applaud him for sticking with his flavour of the month for more than a month. It'll get him to sweat, she can picture his awkward fumbling, and she'll enjoy it.

"So I guess you'll be starting school soon," says Jesse, bringing Quinn out of her delightfully vindictive thoughts.

"Yeah, senior year with all the bells and whistles," she sighs.

"And then you'll quit your job?"

"My AP classes aren't going to take themselves," she adds with a sly grin, purposely looking at him.

Jesse picks up on her dig instantly and gives her what she thinks is a mild glare before looking straight ahead again. "Good. It's not like the token Asians would do much for your grades anyway."

There he goes again, insulting people who she _should_ call her friends and _should_ defend but doesn't. It may have something to do with the fact that she's a bitch and Jesse's lack of a filter is like crack. There aren't a lot of people she can enjoy this level of freedom of speech with – Santana is the only one who even comes close and they don't even hang out that much anymore. Despite the library stalking thing, ever since New York, there's a part of Quinn that wants to change that.

"You're a very smart girl Quinn," he says.

"I know." And she does, in fact she's known ever since middle school when she was taking pre-algebra and everyone else, including Rachel, was still struggling with fractions.

"It's not something that's immediately obvious and I get the feeling that that's the way you like it."

"Nobody likes nerds remember? Add the fact that I'm already a glee loser and you can see why I wouldn't want that kind of stuff to get out."

There's a slight pause as Jesse makes a turn. "It must have meant a lot to get that job then," he muses.

"You're right, and I did it fair and square – without _lying_."

"If you're implying what I think you are, you should know you're wrong."

"Sure, because you really do have 'extensive experience' with libraries."

"Fine. I can be charming when it's called for," he says with a smirk. "But I do consider myself opinionated enough to be able to offer appropriate advice on what should and shouldn't be read. I figured I'd learn the rest on the job, like memorising a script. You get the part before you know all your lines." Quinn raises both her eyebrows in response – he can't really believe that that's how the world works can he? He probably does. "I don't know what I'm going to do when you're gone Quinn," he says melodramatically and the curve of his lips lets her know he's not being entirely serious, "it's boring enough now as it is. I mean when you said you were working at a library, I thought I could join and provide suitable entertainment."

"Entertainment?"

"I was under the impression that at least one piano would be present. All the other libraries I've been to have had one."

"Right. I'm sure that's exactly what people who are trying to doing some quiet reading want to hear – you singing."

"I'm glad you agree; my vocals would add a certain vigour and liveliness to the atmosphere," he says with a bright smile. "I think_ I_ should ask Ellen though, you seem to have fallen out of her favour." Quinn's not really sure what to say to that (maybe a small part of her wishes she had his kind of unwavering self belief) so even though he's patronising her, she doesn't make a snide comment about how he's delusional.

"What about New York?" she asks.

"It's there. It's just a little further than I initially anticipated. If it were up to me, I'd be on the first plane out of here."

It stings a little when he says that – she's not entirely sure why. "Can't you ask your parents?" She figures with his Range Rover and his (dubious) choices in clothes, he isn't exactly hard pressed for cash.

"After the UCLA debacle, I seem to have lost considerable favour with both of them. Take into account the fact that my sister is currently making progress with her therapist about her eating disorder and well, let's just say I'm no longer the favourite. Mom and Dad don't just _give_ things to those who come in second."

"Been there too," she says drily, "Growing up it was always 'Frannie's been made class president,' 'Frannie's prom queen' and 'oh sorry Quinnie, I didn't realise you weren't a size zero anymore, I guess Frannie gets _two_ new dresses then,'" she says, using a higher pitched, mocking voice. "You'd think things would have changed but now it's just 'Frannie's marrying Michael – he's a _real_ Christian' and soon I bet it'll be 'Frannie has three children – it's just like a Fabray to outdo the national average.'"

He laughs, so quietly that it comes out as more of a sharp exhale, but she doesn't mind it so much.

* * *

><p>It's when they're just coming out of the bookstore that she sees Mercedes. If there's any one person who she'd least like to see, apart from Rachel, it's Mercedes. She knows the diva loves a good story and seeing her with Jesse, even though it's strictly work related, will practically make the girl salivate. The rest of the glee club would know everything and more before Quinn even made it home.<p>

Then she sees Sam – they're walking _together_. And holding hands. Quinn does a double take and before Jesse can say anything, she's walking back to the car full speed, the box of books trembling in her hands. They're here in his Range Rover so she actually has to wait for him to catch up and unlock the car before she can get it, but as soon as she's done with dumping the books in his trunk, she sits in the front seat, practically in shock.

"Seems like you've missed out on another round of musical chairs Quinn," he says as he sits down and when she turns to snap at him for being so blasé, she notices he's watching her intently with that same surveying look.

"My loss right?" she mumbles before she folds her arms and looks away. She can't believe it. Sam went from her to Santana to _Mercedes_? She knows she has no right to be upset that Sam's moved on after she effectively _forced_ him to end their relationship but that doesn't mean she's ready to embrace this new development. Sam is the only boy she's ever dated who always kept his eyes on her and no one else. To see him holding hands with a – no she's not going to stoop low and make a jab about Mercedes' weight, that's something Santana would do. (She'd heard her friend teasing Puck about dying when 'the manatee fucking rolled over' often enough.)

It's worse than seeing him with Santana too; at least then Quinn had known that the Latina found Sam infuriating ('those lips are only for show') and was with him just because he was the new guy with the ridiculous body and because she had been shoved to the bottom of the pyramid. But this? It makes Quinn feel a little ill. Not as much as Finn and Rachel do, but it's an unpleasant feeling nonetheless. It's not because she's in love with Sam, and she kind of almost wishes it was because it wouldn't be half as bad, but no it's because she can't help but feel like Mercedes has taken something. Something that was _hers_.

"Come on Quinnie, don't be like that," Jesse drawls.

"Please don't call me that," she says, looking away but keeping her voice calm.

"I guess Princess Grace will have to suffice." He lets out a sigh and she just knows he's mocking the fact that she's upset. "So he's with the wailer, why do you give a fuck? It's a downgrade anyway." She does look at him when he says that and he elaborates. "Rachel filled me in extensively on the entire goings on of the New Directions. I guess some of it actually stuck."

"So you know about what I did to him then, repeatedly." Jesse gives her a small nod and well, Rachel's just earned herself a week's worth of evil glares. "Sometimes I think I'm a pathological liar," she muses.

"It comes easily to you right? And it's kind of thrilling?"

"It's easy but I don't make it a habit to enjoy lying to my boyfriends." The words leave her mouth before she can process what she's saying and she sees how he turns away – she knows he's biting back some kind of comeback. "Just say it Jesse, I know you want to," she says unenthusiastically, rolling her eyes.

"I don't want to say anything." He keeps a straight face but his eyes totally give him away. "I just think that in the future you should choose your words a little more carefully. You're not always going to be in the company of someone as…considerate as I am." She smacks him in the shoulder and then smiles despite herself, dropping her head against the headrest.

"Mercedes is my friend," she says in monotone. "There were times when she was my _only_ friend. Last year, after Puck's mom found out that I snapped at his sister for telling me I couldn't keep a leftover BLT in the fridge, I had nowhere to go – Mercedes let me stay with her when everyone else thought I was just the pregnant girl getting what she deserved. Seeing her with Sam, seeing her _happy_ with Sam, really pisses me off. Pretty sure that makes me a terrible person."

"It probably does," Jesse replies with a slight shrug of the shoulders. "Then again I'm not exactly the nicest person in the world so I can't be sure."

"Can I ask you something?" She continues without waiting for him to answer. "Why'd you egg Rachel?" He raises both eyebrows and looks at her again. She's sure it's something he doesn't want to talk about but seeing how he pretty much knows everything about her already, she figures it's fair game. "And like you said, I'm a good liar too."

He rolls eyes and takes in a deep breath; she sees his Adam's apple move as he swallows. "I had to."

"You didn't have to –"

"No Quinn. I _had_ to. I didn't go to McKinley to fuck with the New Directions; collectively we were far better than you could ever be. Shelby wanted to get to know her daughter and she trusted me to help her. I had heard Rachel sing before too, we had tapes of Sectionals and she was the most interesting girl I had seen in years. When Shelby asked I couldn't refuse." His face is set and his eyes are narrowed; Quinn has never seen him this way before. "It was only supposed to be an opportunity to perfect my acting skills, and then I'd be off to Los Angeles, leaving everyone behind to play back up as I took centre stage. Of course when I went back to Carmel my teammates weren't as warm and welcoming as I'd hoped. So to prove I was truly one of them we decided to TP your choir room and then show you what real talent sounded like with 'Another One Bites the Dust'"

"Was Rachel just back up too?"

"I had hoped she'd be sick that day, it would have been far easier on my conscience with an understudy," he adds with a sardonic smile. "VA has always been one unit; unlike your New Directions, we focused on only one thing. Not feelings, not acceptance, not each other. Just winning. They were turning on me and I was the lead – if it continued, we wouldn't win. And I couldn't lose. Not Nationals. Not during senior year. So I did it for Vocal Adrenaline, _my_ Vocal Adrenaline. It was horrible and I do regret it but…the end justified the means."

"I respect that." Her voice comes out quiet and it must surprise him because he looks at her and there's the smallest hint of disbelief on his face. "I know what it's like. Not with glee club, obviously, but when I was a Cheerio, I would have done anything to win. To be smiling on top of that pyramid as everyone else just bore the weight." She also kind of respects how he screwed with everyone and manipulated Rachel's feelings – she doesn't say this out loud. "God, I hate Lima, it ruins everything."

"Forget Lima, I hate the whole of fucking _Ohio_."

"I think I'm starting to understand why psychopaths go into schools and just shoot everybody. Maybe we're psychopaths Jesse."

"I doubt it," he says, squinting a little. "You maybe. I don't have excessively violent thoughts."

"But Jesse," she says, dramatically holding her hand over her chest because she knows it'll have more of an effect, "you killed all those baby chickens – cruelty to small animals is the first sign of being a maniac." He looks at her and then looks away and Quinn's holding back a smile because yeah, she's had a lot of practise with patronising people (Finn) too. "Thank you for telling me that though," she adds softly, because she doesn't want him to think that she didn't appreciate his honesty and he just nods. "They have cafés in Akron right?"

Jesse lets out a short laugh as he stops the car in the parking lot of the library. "Yes I believe so. And they're marginally better than the ones in Lima too. Why?"

She bites her lip a little, more out of habit than anything else, and pointedly looks into his blue eyes. "For future reference, in case I'm ever in town."

**...**

**Author's Note: Hey they're actually getting along now! (For the most part.) This turned out a lot longer than I originally intended but thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy it!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Return to Sender, Damaged in Transit**

**...**

It's late on a Saturday morning when Quinn hears her doorbell ring.

When she opens the door, Jesse's standing right there, smirk in place and holding a coffee cup.

She's surprised to say the least. And it's not even because she never sees him on weekends. It takes her a good few seconds to respond and he thrusts a cup into her hand before pushing past her into the house. She closes the door and leans against it, watching as he makes himself comfortable on her couch. "What're you doing here?" she asks, trying really hard (and failing) to keep the smile off her face.

"Akron's finest brew," he says with a slight roll of his eyes. "I happened to be in the area. Sit."

She's left wondering how he's the one inviting her to sit, in her own house no less. What's worse is that she complies easily, sitting next to him, but leaving enough of a gap between them. "It's cold," she says, her nose wrinkling as she tastes the bitter drink.

"It's a two and a half hour drive from there, what did you expect? It's also the reason why I'm not joining you, I couldn't wait that long." He takes the cup from her hand and takes a long drag, making a face as he swallows. "Hmm. Shitty coffee still tastes shitty when it's cold. Who would've thought?"

"Don't you always spend your weekends at your parents' house?"

"Yes but I thought I'd make an exception." He smiles again and Quinn feels her insides twist. "You should consider yourself lucky Quinn. When my parents told me they were going to Peru for two weeks, I had every intention of enjoying the house to myself."

"You are too kind," she says dryly.

His eyes dart around the room, lingering on the glass case of prom queen crowns and Quinn can't help but feel like he's analysing her. Finally, they settle on her open laptop. "What were you doing before I got here Quinn?" he asks, eyes lighting up.

"Nothing." She moves to shut the laptop but he's faster and takes it into his lap.

"The online prospectus for NYU doesn't exactly seem like nothing."

She struggles to find the words to explain the damning webpage. "Look, I have to give my guidance counsellor a stupid list when school starts and I was just looking at different colleges. I'm not actually planning on applying." It's true too. She had been thinking about Rachel and Kurt and how they were just destined for New York and how looking at a website couldn't possibly hurt.

"Why not? I looked at NYU during my application process, granted it was the School of Arts, but I'm sure they're just as good for…" he looks into the distance "…whatever it is you want to do too."

If he didn't sound so damn condescending at the end, she might _think_ about appreciating his advice. "Yeah well, one they're incredibly expensive and two, you need to have an amazing SAT score to even be considered. I don't fancy wasting my application fee."

"And have you taken the SAT yet?" he asks putting the laptop back down. She shakes her head and he raises an eyebrow. "Then how could you possibly know what your score will be?"

"I'm not you Jesse. I don't blindly back myself to achieve the impossible."

"Maybe you should try it sometime Quinn," he replies with a smirk, not missing a beat. "And besides, Broadway is hardly _impossible_. In fact, it's an inevitability for me." She figures he truly believes that and she's slightly relieved when he drops the topic and starts walking around her house. "Oh, you have a piano?" He quickly makes his way over to it and sits down, brushing his index finger along the keys. "The fine coat of dust tells me it hasn't been used in a while."

"Yeah, a long while," she says, moving over to stand next to him. "I stopped taking lessons after freshman year."

He smiles and she gets the feeling that he's smiling to himself more than at her. "That's too bad. After freshman year I was taking lessons in piano, voice, dance and acting. And that's not even including Vocal Adrenaline rehearsal."

"Well we are very different Jesse," she says, looking down at her feet.

"Yes we are." He pats the spot on the bench next to him and she sits down, somewhat awkwardly. The last time they were at a piano together hadn't ended pleasantly and well, sitting this close, she's just so much more aware of his every movement.

"I've never heard you play."

"You've never spent the weekend at my place," he says with a casual grin. "I play on Sundays, before I make the sickening drive back to Lima."

"I have church on Sundays." It's annoying how the corners of her lips curve upwards despite (because of) his suggestive comment.

"As do I, but I stopped going a long time ago."

"Why?" She knows Mercedes goes to church, but Quinn had never actually spoken to her about it and she's kind of interested to know what would make someone stop going.

"I used to sing in church, of course, but the hymns were easy and honestly most of the singers were perpetually sharp. So once I realised I was wasting my talent, nothing there could ever hold my attention for long. Fortunately the female choir members were more than willing to alleviate my boredom." A smirk appears on his face, she rolls her eyes, and his smirk grows even wider. "One day an _incident_ involving a confessional booth was brought to light and needless to say my presence is not looked upon favourably anymore."

"That's disgusting."

"No, that's irony. It's not my fault that those girls' legs weren't pressed together as tightly as their palms during prayer." He lets out a soft chuckle and suddenly looks straight at her. "I'm sorry Quinn that was rather insensitive of me. The insinuation about your past was purely coincidental; I meant no offense."

He says it all very quickly and looks fairly sincere but Quinn feels her face get warm anyway; she's used to people saying things behind her back but no one has ever spoken so bluntly about her, right in front of her. "Doesn't your uncle have a piano?" she asks, wanting to change the subject as soon as possible.

"Yes but it's not nearly as nice. The one in Akron was custom made for my 16th birthday. Let's just say it would have been easier on my parents if I had asked for a car." He slides his fingers along the keys, getting a feel for her piano but not playing it; again she can't help but stare at him - the way the veins pulse on his hand, wind up his arm and disappear under the sleeve of his t-shirt. And wow, she really needs to finish the rest of her cold coffee.

"Any requests?" he asks with a smile that she knows is his most charming one.

She wonders what her face must look like right now. "Surprise me."

* * *

><p>Jesse ends up staying for a lot longer.<p>

In fact, it's almost dinner time and he's still there. She knows that she really should say something about how her mother could come home at any time but every time she comes close to mentioning it, he'll play something beautiful on the piano and she'll put it off for a little longer. He sounds amazing, and she tells him so, in a less enthusiastic way of course. (She can't bear the thought of inflating his ego even more.) Quinn can't help but think that someone this good shouldn't be confined to playing at home with just her for an audience.

Eventually they're on the couch, flipping through some of the mediocre Saturday night movie specials and now she really should tell him to leave. She doesn't know why she's having so much difficulty; it'd never been a problem for her to tell Finn or Sam to buzz off. She'd just fib and say she had to get started on evening prayer – of course, neither of them had ever been able to tell she was lying.

She turns to look at Jesse and he's not actually watching the movie; his eyes are closed and if it wasn't for the fact that his fingers are lightly drumming on the arm of the couch, she'd have thought he was asleep.

"Are you okay?"

Jesse's eyes snap open and he turns towards her. "Why do you ask? Was it the Stravinsky?"

It takes a lot of self-control for Quinn not to roll her eyes at his dramatic tendencies and thankfully she doesn't, because it wouldn't help her tell him about the thing that has been on her mind ever since he looked at her laptop.

"No, it's just…you seem different."

"No Quinn, it just so happens that, unlike any of the other guys you've spent time with, I am capable of relaxing without having to take my ADHD medication."

"You always ask me about senior year, so now it's my turn. I go back to school next week, what are your plans?"

She half expects him to blow off her question with a melodramatic response but instead his brow creases and he looks away. "A week is a long time Quinn; we don't need to talk about such trivial things now."

"You know you can still sing right?" she asks quietly.

He barks out a laugh and quirks an eyebrow, looking at her in disbelief. "Yeah. I know. Care for an impromptu performance?" He flashes a wide smile but it doesn't quite reach his eyes.

"At _college_ Jesse. You can sing and dance and act and everything at college. I'm pretty sure OSU has rolling admission." In fact she's one hundred per cent sure; she looked it up when he was in the bathroom.

The smile drops and she sees something that looks like irritation flash in his eyes. "It wouldn't be the same," he says, jaw setting as he speaks. "It wouldn't be _performing_. It would be getting stuck at a Midwest college, pandering to an audience of small-town philistines."

He's glaring at her, for the first time since the whole 'Run Joey Run' thing, he looks genuinely _angry_. She feels as though she's on a precipice; she knows that if she says one more thing, she'll fall over the edge but it's been on her mind for days now and he _has_ to know. "It doesn't have to be OSU, I just thought –"

"You thought wrong," he cuts in. "Now can we go back to watching the movie? You're making me miss important plot details."

If she was thinking straight she'd accept his hostility towards the subject as a clear message to just stop talking. "I don't see what's so bad about OSU; it's the best place in Ohio." Then again, she hasn't been thinking straight for a while now.

"You just answered your own question Quinn. It's in Ohio. _Finn's_ probably going to apply there. Tell me, is OSU on your list of prospective colleges?"

It isn't. She hasn't actually made her list yet, but anywhere in Ohio isn't even going to be a backup to her backup. If things get that bad, she'll apply to somewhere in Illinois or Pennsylvania. She hesitates and Jesse raises an eyebrow, obviously calling her out. "Well, I haven't flunked out once before." The words escape her mouth and she sees his eyes narrow. "I…I didn't mean…Jesse, just hear me out, please." He takes in a breath and turns towards her again; his expression is in no way any softer. "I just think that you could do so much more there – it'd be better than working at a place you hate. OSU has a musical theatre program."

She gets his attention at that and his eyes meet hers, still intense but slightly less so. "It's not the _same_."

"The same as what? UCLA? Obviously. But it's better than ending up as a washed up high school singer who won show choir competitions that no one outside of the Midwest has even heard of."

"For your information _Quinn_," she really hates the way he spits out her name, "people have heard of Nationals. When I told the casting director at UCLA that as a winner of four successive show choir competitions, I was more than prepared for the lead in the spring musical, despite being a freshman, he agreed with me. It just so happened that I…wasn't quite what they were looking for." His voice trails off a little towards the end and it's strange for her to see him this unsettled. "Besides, I do have plans. I was thinking of coaching Vocal Adrenaline, after their train wreck of a push for Nationals with that dumbass Goolsby and the midget Asian, I figure they'd want someone with real experience and the talent to back it."

"You don't even have to stay at OSU for four years, you could transfer," she continues, ignoring his last sentence. He's just as stubborn as she thought he'd be and it kills her a little that she's pretty much ruining what they have as she speaks. Of course the news that he wants to coach VA where she knows he'll come into contact with Rachel again _may_ also factor into her reasoning. "To somewhere in New York. Because coaching Vocal Adrenaline won't make you male lead again."

He looks at her again, but this time his face is a mixture of annoyance and surprise. "I know that. But it'll mean that I'll have another trophy to my name and after the New Directions tarnished my record by losing, winning will do wonders for my show choir consultancy."

"I'm just saying that there's more out there than show choir."

"What's gotten into you Quinn?" His voice is damningly polite and his face is calm again. "If anything I'd have thought you wouldn't want to get rid of me so soon, it's hardly as though you've got friends lining up at your door. Or is that what you actually want? I mean you do eventually find a reason to push everyone away."

His words sting her more than they should, she's not entirely sure why. "You're an ass Jesse," she snaps hatefully, glaring right back at him now. She actually wants to hit him. Or throw the cup of cold coffee in his face. "But you have something. Something that can take you away from this place. I would give anything for a ticket out and here you're too – I don't know – stubborn, proud or just _lazy_ to act on it."

His eyes widen and before she can say anything, he stands up and walks out. Just like that. He doesn't storm or stomp but she hears her front door slam shut and the silence echoes through the room.

**...**

**Author's Note: Quinn's not the only one with issues...**

**On another note, Jesse is coming back! Oh dear god, my heart is bursting thinking about the fact that maybe, just maybe St. Fabray could actually happen. Please please please please. Come on RIB!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Return to Sender, Damaged in Transit**

**...**

Quinn turns her phone over in her hands again and again.

She's sitting in the back and Mr Schuester is going on and on about this being everyone's last chance at being champions but the only time she actually listens to him is when he mentions Vocal Adrenaline coming in second last year.

Jesse would have been pleased.

She hasn't been able to really focus on any of her classes and that really sucks when the class is AP Chem at 8.30 in the morning. Of course, it's because of Jesse and in some ways it's a big enough step for her to even admit that. She thinks that he shouldn't be mad at her; after all, she was just stating the truth by calling him out (much like he's done to pretty much everybody) and she was trying to help him. She knows he won't call her first and so if she wants to fix this, she'll have to bite the bullet and call him.

When Mr Schue goes to photocopy some music, she sneaks out and heads into the empty hallway. She dials Jesse's number and gets his voicemail – _'You've reached Jesse St. James. Yes, _the_ Jesse St. James, but you already knew that. Leave a message and I might get back to you.'_ She cringes a little as she waits for the beep, taking a second to make sure no one is around. "Jesse I'm…sorry," she says softly, getting out the two hardest words. "I didn't mean what I said and I don't think you're lazy. It's just –" she sighs, "– I guess it's not my place to say. Look, I'm at school and so I don't know when I can see you again but…call me." She hangs up and when she turns around, she sees the choir room door open and Rachel steps outside.

"Quinn, what are you doing out here?" she asks. Quinn can hear the accusatory tone and before she can say anything Rachel's walking right up to her, invading her personal space. "You heard Mr. Schue – this is our last shot at Nationals. That means that we have to practise to the best of our abilities. I know that you may think that since you are not as able as someone who sings lead and is well accustomed to rigorous vocal training you can afford to take certain liberties with your time at rehearsal, but we all have to work together if we want to win." Rachel's looking at her imploringly with her arms folded and Quinn wouldn't be surprised if the diva started tapping her foot any second now.

"I'm not skipping glee club Rachel. I just had to answer a phone call."

"From who?"

"This guy I met at church camp," replies Quinn almost instantly. She figures it can't hurt to have people know that she's still out there and sure as hell isn't pining over Finn anymore.

If Quinn wasn't wondering if Santana had told everyone about Jesse, she'd have made a face at the way Rachel goes from looking annoyed to positively thrilled in less than a second. "That's wonderful Quinn," she says, placing her hand on her chest. "I must admit I was worried that my relationship with Finn would become something that you just couldn't see past, and that it would ultimately damage our already fragile friendship but…I'm really happy that you're happy." Her brown eyes soften and she gives Quinn a less-crazy-more-genuine smile.

Quinn has to stop herself from glaring.

* * *

><p>The first weekend after school starts, Brittany throws a party. Quinn doesn't really want to go but Brittany has this strange way of being really persuasive and that's why she finds herself alone in the kitchen, trying to avoid the loud music. She has a plastic cup in her hand but apart from the occasional sip, she's not really drinking because there are some mistakes that she's not going to make again.<p>

"Q what the fuck are you doing just standing there?" asks Santana as she comes in. The Latina steadies herself by the fridge before rummaging inside it.

"Not much," she replies in monotone.

"Well we're doing shots upstairs, so if you're done being a kill joy you can join." She pulls out a tray of lemon wedges and leaves again. Quinn rolls her eyes and it's only when a few drunken football players stumble in and notice her that she begrudgingly follows her friend.

When she goes up she sees most of the members from glee club sitting in a circle with a bottle of tequila in the centre and of course, Finn and Rachel are there as well. Finn grins at her and Quinn has to force a smile back. She takes the spot next to Santana and suddenly she grabs Quinn's wrist, rolling up the sleeve of her cardigan.

"Santana what are you doing?" she almost yells, pulling away.

"Checking for rug burn," Santana replies with a smirk.

"Why would she have rug burn?" asks Finn, just as Puck starts to chuckle.

"Oh don't you know?" The Latina's grin grows even wider and her eyes light up. "I was just making sure that I can still call Quinn Virgin Mary. With the amount of time she's been spending with a certain guy, you never know."

"Santana don't do this," she warns, keeping her eyes fixed on her friend. "_Please."_

"Ooh, who's the lucky boy Quinn?" asks Kurt, clasping his hands together. His face is the shade of tomato and Quinn runs a hand through her hair, trying to think of what to say. She doesn't need everyone knowing that she's been spending time with Jesse, especially not now.

"Nobody. He's nobody because Santana's _lying_."

"Nobody? I don't think he'd be happy if he knew you called him a nobody."

"Santana shut –"

"Wait, is that why we didn't see you all summer?" asks Finn as he removes her arm from around Rachel.

"No I just –" Quinn looks around the circle at all the inquisitive faces and she can't form a coherent sentence.

"Everyone," pipes up Rachel, "who Quinn chooses to date is none of our business and I think we should respect her privacy. Besides she met him at church camp, so it's not like any of us would know him anyway."

Her eyes widen and she glares at Rachel, who clearly still thinks she's being helpful.

"That's not very nice Rachel. Just because Quinn's a Christian it doesn't mean that she spends every summer at church camp," says Brittany.

Rachel frowns at Quinn. "But Quinn you told me –"

Santana starts laughing and Quinn gets up, leaving the circle and practically running into Brittany's room. She shuts the door and leaves the lights off, taking a few seconds to just collect her thoughts. When her phone rings, she jumps and when she finally fishes it out of her purse, she can't believe it.

"Hello Jesse." She keeps her voice down and sits on Brittany's bed.

"Quinn. How've you been?" he asks. His voice is as casual as ever and it's hardly as though they've not been speaking for the past week.

"Okay. McKinley still sucks," she says tentatively, trying to judge his mood.

He lets out a quiet laugh and she finds herself relaxing a little. "Well that's hardly news. What're you doing now?"

"Now? Not enjoying a party."

"That's too bad. I'm having a fabulous time myself."

She laughs despite herself and chews her bottom lip. "Doing what exactly?"

"Talking to you."

"Jesse…" She knows that it's a line and that he's flirting but she's not exactly stopping him either.

"I know, I know. Anyway, fortunately for you I happen to be at my uncle's place so…do you want me to come and rescue you?"

She thinks of the circle of glee club members doing shots and grimaces. "_Not_ that I need it but, if you were to stop by and give me a ride home, I'd be grateful."

She gives him Brittany's address and tells him to stop a little down the road so that no one will see her leaving with him.

* * *

><p>By the time she goes back outside, the circle is gone and now only Finn and Rachel remain, sitting on the couch. Twenty minutes have passed since Jesse had called and seriously, there's no way his house is that far. Finn keeps trying to make eye contact and she determinedly avoids it, hoping that he's not going to ask her about who her 'boyfriend' is any time soon. She hears someone coming up the stairs and she expects to see Santana coming up to torment her some more.<p>

Instead all she sees is a head of curls.

"Jesse?" She hates herself for saying him name aloud because instantly Finn and Rachel turn as well. He takes a few more dramatic steps up the stairs before leaning on the bannister and stopping to scan the room; his eyes flick past Rachel and Finn before settling on Quinn.

"What the hell is St. Douchebag doing here?" Finn stands up and takes a few steps towards Jesse. Rachel seems to be in shock because she just continues to sit and stare at her ex, eyes wide.

"And here I thought we could both be adults and move past something as juvenile as name calling," says Jesse, looking incredibly bored. "But I suppose you are still in high school; I guess I will just have to be the grown up for the both of us." He moves to stand next to Quinn and smiles down at her.

"How did you get in?" Quinn asks, with a hint of a grin.

"Simple. Brittany. Now…are you ready to be rescued?"

He holds out his hand and just as Quinn is about to take it, Rachel speaks up. "Wait – you're here because of _Quinn_?" Her gaze shifts to Quinn and suddenly Quinn feels a surge of boldness, looking right back and holding her chin up.

"Seems that way doesn't it?" Jesse says as though he's speaking to a child, "Is there a problem with that?"

"N..no…it's just that she said she was dating someone from church camp."

Jesse smirks and raises an eyebrow as he turns to Quinn. She subtly rolls her eyes and gives him a one shouldered shrug, hoping that Jesse picks up on the fact that she had to lie. He must because he then says, "Well you'll have to introduce me sometime Quinn. Now we really should go, I feel my IQ lowering by the second being in Hudson's presence."

"Dude fuck off," growls Finn, "nobody wants you to be here anyway."

"I do." Quinn looks at her ex-boyfriend defiantly and his face falls to give her one of his kicked puppy looks. It isn't going to work. "And so does Brittany. So really Finn, it's just you."

"Quinn why are you doing this?" he asks softly.

"Doing what exactly?" She's not sure where this rage is coming from but it's building within her and she can't stop it. "I'm sure this comes as a shock considering how in love with you Rachel is, but not everyone's world revolves around you. And besides, the two of us -" she stops to make a gesture between her and Jesse "- being friends makes for a good twist in this sick story."

"That's funny, I didn't think _he_ had any friends," spits out Finn.

Jesse completely ignores Finn and turns to Quinn. "Do you think Brittany had the foresight to keep popcorn downstairs? If this is going to continue any longer, I'll definitely need some."

Finn glares some more but to no effect. "Fine, if you're suddenly Quinn's _friend_, you should have no problem talking to us since we're her friends too."

Jesse raises his eyebrows in amusement. "I think you'll find that she would disagree with that but you're right, I am more than capable of humoring you."

"You see, he can't even go five seconds without being an asshole," says Finn to Rachel.

"Actually I can. It's just that being an asshole to you is terribly entertaining."

Finn then turns back to Quinn. "You can't trust him; he's probably only using you to get Rachel back or something."

Now this is just too good. "It kills you, doesn't it?" she asks, giving him a small, malicious smirk.

"Excuse me?"

"Well, neither of us have done anything to you since Nationals. I'm not in love with you, Jesse hasn't tried to go after Rachel and we haven't done anything to break you two up. In fact I haven't even seen you for most of the summer so really, there isn't even a reason for you to be angry."

"I'm not angry at you Quinn, I could never stay angry at you…it's just him that I have a problem with."

"You and Rachel aren't the center of attention anymore and _that's_ what kills you," she finishes.

Finn looks away and it's clear that she's hurting him but standing next to Jesse, it doesn't seem like as much of a big deal anymore.

"Quinn please stop," pleads Rachel, "I know that things haven't worked out for you in the couple of years but if you'd just let us in we'd be able to help you."

Quinn snorts. "And how exactly do you think you could help me?"

"We could just talk. We'll always be a family and you can tell us anything. Like if you ever wanted to talk about something, say…Beth and how you miss her, I'd be there for you," the brunette girl, her voice getting quieter towards the end.

And there it is. Rachel's real agenda. Quinn feels another outburst building up inside her. "_God_ just shut up Rachel. You don't know what you're talking about and you don't know me so don't even try."

Rachel visibly flinches and moves a fraction behind her boyfriend.

"Hey Quinn, you can't talk to my girlfriend like that. She's just trying to help you."

Quinn rolls her eyes. "Honestly Finn, I didn't think it was possible for you to be any slower but you just proved me wrong."

Finn's brow furrows. "Whoa, that's not fair Quinn. You've seen me out on the field like a _billion_ times – I'm one of the fastest guys on the team."

"That's very astute of you Finn," says Jesse, completely seriously.

Finn towers over the curly haired boy, wearing a smug smirk – he must think he has finally one upped Jesse. Next to him, Rachel folds her arms and huffs. "You know, I don't appreciate you two patronising my boyfriend." Quinn turns to Jesse and he looks right back at her, wearing the same amused look. "You underestimate him."

"The only thing I underestimate about Finn is his capacity to suck," says Jesse and Quinn keeps her bitch face firmly in place.

Finn snaps his head towards Jesse. "God I wish you'd just…stop existing."

Quinn scoffs at that one and Jesse just gives Finn a mocking smile.

"Why do you always have to be so mean Quinn?" asks Rachel.

"Why do you always have to stick your giant nose into other people's business Rachel?" Quinn fires back, giving the diva a death glare.

Rachel folds her arms and looks away before mumbling, "Well at least my 'giant nose' is actually my own."

Quinn smiles curtly at the diva's jab. "_I'm_ not the one who went to the surgeon to try and get your nose on my face."

Rachel looks at her in outrage and Finn comes to her defence again. "Wow, you know, after last year I really thought that you had changed Quinn. But it turns out that you're just as cold and cruel as you always were."

"Yeah," she agrees, nodding her head mockingly, "being dumped at a funeral will do that to you."

"Quinn I said I was sorry, but isn't it better this way? We're not lying to each other anymore and –"

"Can you please just stop talking so we can leave," she interrupts, before looking away. She doesn't need all those feelings to be rehashed right now.

"No we need to be honest about this. What we had wasn't _love_ and you know it. And like Rach said if you really miss Beth, and you must because Puck does, you can always talk –"

"No actually I think you should just take Quinn's advice," Jesse cuts in, "every time you make an infantile attempt at taking charge to cover up your own insecurities it just makes you look more idiotic and pathetic than you normally are."

"Jesse that's enough," says Rachel. "I wish you'd just respect my relationship with Finn." Quinn rolls her eyes again at that.

"You mean the way he _respected_ your relationship with me?" Rachel doesn't answer and Jesse continues. "I confess that I will never understand your reasons for choosing to be with this all around lump of a boy but this has nothing to do with that. Although I feel that you should know, if your world continues to include him, it won't include Broadway."

Rachel folds her arms again and narrows her eyes at Jesse. "And who are you to say that?"

"Someone who's destined for things much greater than Ohio. It's just an observation Rachel and if you really didn't think that there was some truth to what I was saying, you wouldn't be so offended. Tell me, do you even know what his plans are for senior year? Or better yet, does he?"

Rachel opens and closes her mouth a few times, much like a fish, and before Quinn can tag team in with a line about being a car mechanic, she takes Finn's hand and stomps down the stairs. Finn shoots them both a death glare just as his head disappears behind the bannister.

"Well played Fabray, I guess there's hope for you yet," muses Jesse as he runs a hand through his hair.

"Why did you come up here? I told you I'd meet you outside," she says softly, still a little in awe of her own behaviour.

"I figured it'd make the night a little more eventful. I was right." He grins at her and while she really, really shouldn't feel good about the things she had just said, she smiles back. "Now, let's get out of here before they come back for round two."

"I don't think we have to worry about that, they barely made it through round one," she teases as they go downstairs. The party has mostly died down and apart from Brittany and Santana who are cuddling on an armchair, there's no sign of anyone. Jesse raises an eyebrow at the two girls, looking to Quinn for an explanation but she just pushes him towards the front door.

Once they're outside, she follows him to his car but when they get there she's surprised to see he isn't driving the Range Rover anymore. "Nice car," she says, observing his new black vintage Mustang.

"Thanks, it's new. A gift from my parents. I was thinking about a convertible but I didn't want to run the risk of someone slashing the top and besides, having windswept hair all the time is just overkill."

She raises an eyebrow as she gets in the car. She kind of loves that it's not ten feet above the ground anymore. "Your parents gave you a gift?"

"Oh didn't I say? I'm the favourite again," he says with a satisfied smirk.

"And why is that?" She gets the feeling that he's hiding something from her and she's determined to get it out of him.

"Firstly, although my sister is out of rehab now, she's taken to smoking to keep off the pounds so…my parents aren't too pleased with that. And secondly, I've just been accepted into OSU."

* * *

><p>"So how'd you manage to get in so easily?" Quinn asks Jesse as he sits on her bed. It's the first time he's been in here and Quinn's a little self-conscious. But her mother's asleep and she knows that she wants him up here and that's good enough for now.<p>

"My mother was ecstatic when I told her I was considering going back to college and well, my father knows some of the adcoms. I sent them a tape of my last Regionals performance and that was that. I got the letter the very next day. It was to be expected really."

"I'm happy for you," she says with a small smile.

"I figured you did make a few good points, even if your methods weren't exactly to my liking; just don't let it go to your head Fabray."

"Me? Never. That's more your thing."

He makes a face and she laughs before sitting next to him. "Can I ask you something Quinn?" She nods and he continues. "What was that nose thing that Rachel mentioned?"

She stiffens and turns away, debating on whether to tell him the truth or just make something up. "I don't know Jesse; it's not exactly the kind of thing you'd want to hear."

"If it helps I've already figured out that you made a few adjustments so…you might as well try me."

Quinn looks at him and then down at her hands before proceeding to tell him the story of Lucy Caboosey. She's a little nervous as she speaks – she's afraid that it'll change everything between them. But Jesse just sits and listens, keeping his blue eyes fixed on her own and when she finishes, he smiles at her warmly.

"Can I see her?" he asks, tilting his head a little.

She looks over at her drawer where she still has a photo of Lucy. "No. I'm just not ready for that because…I'm scared that if I show you, you won't be able to see me in the same way again. I really don't want that to happen. It's stupid I know but –"

"Fair enough."

"Really?" She didn't expect this; if anything she'd have thought he'd be annoyed by her unwillingness to share the photo.

"Yes. Lucy is of no concern to me. _Quinn_, however, is," he says, giving her hand a squeeze.

"So what, you don't think I'm just some vain little girl who took the easy way out?" she asks half-jokingly.

"No. If I was a better person I'd tell you that you should be happy with what you're given but...I'm not. I've done things that I'm ashamed of and am sorry for but I have no regrets. And if the end justifies the means – well."

Something inside her chest swells and she feels a little prickle in her eyes. She blinks it off but she can't stop thinking about the fact that this is the first time anyone's ever just...accepted her choice. Her father had agreed to it because he thought it would give him another perfect daughter. Finn had said that he loved her because of Lucy and the problem with that was that she _hated _Lucy. Everyone else thought that she was a superficial spoilt rich girl who could buy her beauty. Suddenly she's aware of how close they're sitting.

"Do you think about your daughter a lot?" he asks and that snaps her out of her thoughts.

"Why do you ask?"

He shrugs. "Having to give up a child couldn't have been easy. I've known you for a while now and you've never even mentioned her."

She takes in a deep breath before deciding she may as well talk about it to him. God knows it's been on her mind for so long and she's never had anyone she wasn't afraid of opening up to. "I think about her all the time," she admits quietly. "She's a year old now."

"What's her name again?"

"Beth."

"And she was born during Regionals?" he asks, brow slightly furrowed.

"Yeah. Probably around the time that you were hoisting that trophy. Why?"

"Nothing…it's a nice name."

"Puck named her."

"I guess Puckerman's not completely useless then."

She chuckles and Jesse puts an arm around her shoulder, encouraging her to lean into him. She does and rests her head on his shoulder, enjoying the warmth coming from his entire body. "Sometimes I wonder if she's said her first words yet. Or if she can walk – my mom used to tell me that I started doing everything a month early." Too bad she's disappointed Judy in every way since then.

"Two months in my case," he whispers. She punches him gently and he immediately chastises her for it, telling her that his body needs to be kept in prime condition now that he'll be starting to sing and dance at college.

"Jess…" she says, sitting back up again. As soon as she says his name, his eyes snap up to hers. She leans in and puts her arms around him; he immediately reciprocates, running his hands over her back. She places her head on his shoulder again and closes her eyes as she hugs him; feeling like, in that moment, he's sharing the weight of all her problems. "Thank you."

**...**

**Author's Note: An extra long chapter because it's been a while since I updated :) I hope you all enjoy it and please do leave reviews to let me know what you think. Up next - Quinn takes a couple of big but hesitant steps...**


	13. Chapter 13

**Return to Sender, Damaged in Transit**

**...**

She might actually have feelings for Jesse St. James.

Quinn isn't exactly sure when it started but she knows that somewhere between him constantly hounding her over the summer and him telling her that he didn't want to see a photo of Lucy, she's started to _like_ him. It scares her, to say the least, and she isn't sure she'll be telling him anytime soon but at least she's gotten up to the point where she can admit it to herself. Even when they speak on the phone, she's actually _fine_ with just listening to him gripe about OSU's subpar facilities and how his parents should absolutely allow him to live off campus. That's _beyond_ weird for her. It helps that he also is crazy enough to tell her about things like how he took a Clorox wipe to his shoes after his first basement party.

Nothing has changed at McKinley either. The New Directions are still glee losers, but with a few new additions and subtractions now that Blaine's here and Lauren's not. Her AP classes keep her busy enough but every week Quinn finds herself with less and less of an incentive to even go to glee club. Every now and then Finn will give her a disappointed look (she couldn't care less) or she'll overhear Kurt and Mercedes talk about her and Jesse. The rumours are wild – at one point Santana tells her that everyone's wondering if Quinn's way of redeeming herself for the past two years is lying in bed with a saint. She decides right then that if anyone ever says that to her face, she'll actually slap them. What is surprising is that Rachel hasn't confronted her about anything to do with Jesse since Brittany's party. She acts as though that night never even happened. In fact, the brunette hardly ever speaks to her anymore, unless it's something to do with telling her off for not being enthusiastic enough when rehearsing.

Not that Quinn's complaining.

She doesn't see Jesse anywhere nearly as often as she used to now that he's in Columbus and with all these emotions she's trying to sort out, she's kind of grateful for it. He's not the quarterback or the new kid so there's no reason for her to rush into anything and the distance stops her from getting in her own way.

Of course when Jesse suggests that she should spend a few days in Akron for fall break, she can't say yes fast enough.

* * *

><p>He shows her around Akron, pointing out the various places that were instrumental in the making of Jesse St. James and are likely to be featured in a future biography; the entire time Quinn finds herself in awe that he is actually serious about the whole thing. When Jesse asks if she wants to see the motel where there was a 90% chance that he was conceived, she can't take it anymore and mentions that she wants to see Carmel – <em>somehow<em> that manages to distract him.

The moment they reach the school Jesse gets a determined look in his eyes, one that stays from when the pass the trophy cabinet stocked with four Nationals trophies and several of his photos to when they sneak into the auditorium balcony and watch Vocal Adrenaline rehearse. It's not entirely unfamiliar, considering that she had done the same in sophomore year, but she couldn't possibly have ever imagined that she'd find herself wanting to spend time with the cocky male lead she had seen back then.

"They still suck," he says with a self-satisfied smirk.

By New Directions standards Quinn thinks that Vocal Adrenaline aren't half bad but she definitely notices the way Jesse's eyes narrow appreciatively as one girl messes up a chaine turn and everyone has to reset. "Well they didn't win Nationals."

"I didn't think they would. Not with the Asian who just stood there and waved her arms around. It's too bad that you guys sucked even more."

"I'm not one of them anymore," she says all of a sudden, because she knows that of all people, she has to tell him about what's happened in the past week. When he raises an eyebrow she elaborates, "I quit glee."

"How come?"

"I've never given enough of a shit about glee club and I think it's time I did something for myself." She doesn't add that when she told everyone, several people (Kurt and Mercedes) argued that Jesse had brainwashed her into selling them out. Mr. Schue had been confused to say the least.

"Wise choice. Are you going to be a cheerleader again?"

"No. I don't want that." And she really doesn't. "Even if I did, Coach Sylvester would never take me back."

"That's a shame," he says and he almost sounds impressed, "I never did get to see you in that uniform."

She almost says that she still has it in her closet but stops herself, because that would be flirting. She chooses to change the subject instead. "Did you come to help the New Directions just because you wanted Vocal Adrenaline to lose?" she asks, just as a boy almost drops his partner during a lift.

"For the most part," he says, raising his eyebrows noncommittally, "the way I saw it I deserved a fifth title more than they did. I'd be a little more sympathetic if Shelby was still coaching but Goolsby is a douche."

She laughs quietly. "You know what this means right? You can't tease me for being obsessed with being prom queen Jesse," she says with a smug grin.

He rolls his eyes and she's at a point where she can tell the difference between when he's doing it to be mean and when he's doing it playfully – this is definitely playfully. "Yes but the difference is that I've actually won – four times before. I can't help that I got used to it." She smacks his arm a little harder than she intends to and the sound echoes – Jesse has to pull her away from the balcony so that the people on stage don't spot them. "I don't know if anyone's ever told you this Quinn, but the whole point of spying is not to draw attention to yourself."

They leave before anyone has the chance to come upstairs and investigate, practically jogging through the parking lot to get to his car. They're both pretty much laughing the entire way and running behind him, with the wind whipping her hair feels easy and normal. By the time she reaches the door she's completely out of breath and he flashes her a wide smile before getting in.

* * *

><p>His house is big, bigger than hers, and instantly she can tell that he wasn't lying about being the favourite. The cabinets are lined with various trophies of his for all kinds of performance arts and she makes a mental note to use the 'Little Champ' pageant one for future blackmail. There's a beautiful grand piano in the living room too and it's obviously been used a lot more than the one in her own house. For how neat and put together everything else is, the piano area is anything but. Sheet music is strewn everywhere and when she's looking at a few photos of him from Nationals, Quinn catches him trying to make a half decent stack of the papers.<p>

"Have you been practising a lot recently?" she asks, leaning against the piano.

"More than usual. Even if I have to be at OSU, I'm going to make sure I'm the best. Last week, this girl purposely screwed up my accompaniment during a solo."

"Did you mess up?"

"Of course not," he says with a look of contempt. "I've gotten used to people like that over the years. And I made sure to return the favour."

Quinn just smiles because one, she's a guest so she can't exactly call him out on his diva antics and two, she's not exactly innocent when it comes to playing dirty either. "Play something for me," she says on a whim. "Something that you're working on."

He fingers hover over the keys before he stops himself and looks at her. "I have a better idea. Sing with me." He gives her his charming smirk and shifts over on the bench to make room.

She doesn't move. "No."

"But why not? Don't worry, if you're nervous, you can just sing the less important background parts."

And that's exactly why. Singing is something that's Rachel's territory and she's willing to bet that they've sung together countless times. Even if he tells her that he won't judge her, he will because he's Jesse St. James and is judgemental by nature. She doesn't want to be compared to Rachel at all because she_ will_ fall short and it's a battle she's lost twice before with Finn. "Not happening St. James," she says, walking away and giving him a coy look over her shoulder, leaving a disgruntled looking Jesse behind her.

* * *

><p>The next day, Jesse tells her that he needs to make a stop somewhere and when she asks him if it's the hospital where he was born, she's only half-joking. Luckily it's not and she figures it must be one of his old VA teammates' places because when they get there, it's a pretty huge house. He rings the bell and she waits next to him awkwardly, wondering why he picked today of all days to reconnect with someone he probably cares very little about.<p>

To say that she doesn't expect to see _Shelby_ answer the door is an understatement.

The older woman smiles warmly at Quinn and it almost makes her want to throw up right there. Her head snaps towards Jesse as she struggles to process anything that's happening and he gives her an encouraging smile. "Jesse, Quinn please come in." Shelby steps aside to let them through and Jesse makes his way into her living room. Quinn hesitates and before either Shelby or Jesse notice, she spins around and starts walking back up the driveway.

"Quinn, what are you doing?" she hears Jesse ask and at that point she picks up the pace, passing his car and making her way down the sidewalk.

She can't deal with this. Not now.

That's why she starts full on running in the middle of October in a babydoll dress and ballet flats. Quinn can feel her heart pounding in her chest and she's bordering on tunnel vision but she just keeps going, passing house after house after house.

Beth.

All that separates her and the baby – her baby – is a door and if she had stepped inside Shelby's house, she would have seen the very face that she's been thinking of for more than a year. She'd see her face maybe even hold her little hand and it'd be everything she's ever wanted. But she can't do it. Once she sees that face, she knows she'll never be able to forget it – it's one of the reasons that she hadn't let Puck take a single photo of their daughter that night in the hospital.

She hears feet thudding behind her and it's as though she's coming out of a blur – the houses come back into clear view and suddenly she's aware of the fact that Jesse is calling her name. She ignores him and keeps going, hoping that he won't catch her. The hem of her dress is flailing and her feet throb in pain but she needs to put as much distance as possible between herself and that house.

Quinn can hear him gaining on her and when she makes a turn she has to stop because it's a dead end. She swears and by the time she turns around to double back, he's cornered her. "Leave – me – alone Jesse," she says, struggling to form a sentence because of how hard she is panting.

He's out of breath too but that doesn't stop him from taking a few steps towards her. "What is the matter with you Quinn?"

"Nothing. Just – leave me alone."

"No," he says simply.

Suddenly her fear is replaced with sheer anger and she rounds on him, ice queen glare firmly in place. "Who the _fuck_ do you think you are?" she asks, almost shaking from how furious she is.

"Quinn I –"

"Why did you bring me here Jesse?" She's practically yelling but she's well past the point of caring if anyone hears. His eyes widen slightly at her sudden outburst before his face sets into a frown.

"You said that you think about Beth all the time. I thought you wanted this."

"Yeah," she says sarcastically, "seeing my baby with that _woman_ is exactly what I wanted."

"Quinn, that woman is her mother," he says, edging a little closer to her. Quinn almost argues back but stops herself, shifting her gaze from his face to the ground. "Shelby's her mother."

"I'm her real mother."

"You're not her _mom_."

The words sting and she almost flinches as he says it. She's not going to cry. Not here and not because of this. "What I told you was personal," she says, through gritted teeth, her eyes boring holes into his face, "you had no right to do this."

"Don't you want to know what she looks like?"

"No."

"Quinn, you're being –"

"Shut up." She pushes past him and begins walking away again.

"And where exactly are you going?" he asks, calmly as ever.

"I don't know!" she shouts hatefully, without turning around. "Home!"

"Right, enjoy the walk." She sighs angrily and spins around to face him again and he's staring right back, arms folded. "Shelby wants you to be a part of Beth's life."

"How do you know that?"

"Because I asked her before coming here. As difficult as it may be for you to believe I'm not that insensitive," he says, giving her an unimpressed look.

"That doesn't change anything. I'm not going back there so give it up."

"Well you have no choice in the matter Quinn," he says with a slight shrug of the shoulders.

"You can't just make me see her."

"If you remember, I won our little competition over the summer, and I've decided that I want you to meet Beth."

She stares at him in outrage and she doesn't know how he's still holding her gaze. Any other boy would've cowered by now. "That has nothing to do with this and you can't just do that."

"I told you then that I had yet to determine what I wanted and I want you to do this. It's only fair Quinn."

He's insufferable and an asshole and if he was standing just a little bit closer, she would've punched him in the face.

* * *

><p>It's another twenty minutes before they walk up Shelby's driveway all over again and Quinn remains behind Jesse, using him as somewhat of a human shield. Once more the door opens and Shelby's standing there, looking slightly more concerned than last time. Nevertheless the woman still smiles and greets them warmly, the entire time Quinn feels like there's a lump that's the size of a golf ball in her throat. She forces herself to put on something like a smile before Shelby leads them into her living room, letting them both sit on her couch.<p>

Jesse and Shelby are talking but everything they're saying is fuzzy and Quinn's entire body starts to feel feverish just at the thought of being in the same house as her daughter. Shelby asks if they want anything to drink but Quinn doesn't answer and Jesse ends up asking for water on her behalf.

"Quinn, you don't have to feel like you're intruding," says Shelby as she puts down the glass of water.

"I don't –"

"I gave Rachel up and spent my life wondering what she looked like, if she liked the same things I did and if…she was happy. I don't want that for you and I don't want Beth to ever think that you didn't care enough."

"I know," she replies, when she's sure her voice won't crack. "So when can I see her?"

"Right now." Shelby gets up to go and bring Beth from upstairs; Quinn feels like she's going to be ill and thinks about just bolting out of the door again. Jesse must read her mind because he puts his hand on her knee and squeezes, distracting her from the sudden onset on nausea.

She hears footsteps come down the stairs and suddenly there's Beth, in Shelby's arms, head resting on her mother's shoulder. Her chest tightens as Shelby turns the girl around and when she gets to see her face, all she can think of is how even though they share looks, Quinn means absolutely nothing in Beth's world.

After a few seconds, she has to look away and then she sees Jesse smiling a little exaggeratedly at Beth - something that strikes Quinn as oddly calming. Beth laughs and Shelby promptly puts her on the ground facing him. He kneels down off the couch and holds out his arms; when Beth stumbles into them and he holds her, it's so cute that she wants to hit something and cry at the same time.

Eventually he turns towards Quinn and from this close; she can also tell that the little girl has Puck's fiery hazel eyes that seem to suit her perfectly. Jesse holds Beth out towards Quinn and she hesitates; she looks from Beth to Jesse to Beth again and somehow she just…can't. "You're good with her," she says quietly, moving back a little. Jesse opens his mouth to say something but then shuts it again and gives her a small, understanding nod.

Quinn's not sure if she's even ready to be in Beth's life but she knows, right then, that seeing Jesse rocking the laughing little girl on his knee is something she'll always remember.

* * *

><p>It's late in the evening when they drive back to his house, listening to 'Bennie and the Jets' on the radio.<p>

It's not even remotely appropriate considering what she's feeling but Jesse loves the how hard Elton plays the piano and well, it's not as though things makes sense anymore anyway. He starts to sing along and she thinks he's doing it more out of habit than anything else; when he hits the chorus, she hums along, quietly, if only for the reason that it'll distract her from thinking about what she's leaving behind. Jesse turns his head towards her and she abruptly stops, turning away from him.

"Don't," he says and he actually sounds a little awkward, like he's trying to stop himself from saying too much. "You sound nice."

"We both know that that's a lie Jesse," she says looking down at her hands, "I'm not good."

He rolls his eyes a little and before she can be offended by that, he's talking again. "Look, even _I_ can admit that sometimes it's not about pitch or tone or...any of that. _This_ is one of those times. So—keep going."

He turns up the volume and smiles before reaching over and putting a hand on top of hers, one that stays there until they've stopped in his driveway.

**...**

**Author's Note: Sorry it's been a while since I've updated, I've just been kind of swamped recently but this chapter's kind of long too. I hope to have the next one up a little sooner. Please do leave reviews, even if you've added this to your favourites or alerts, I'd love to know what everyone thinks of where I'm taking this :)**


	14. Chapter 14

**Return to Sender, Damaged in Transit**

**...**

She heads straight upstairs, to the bedroom where she's sleeping, without saying a word.

Now that Jesse's not singing anymore, all of Quinn's thoughts of Beth come rushing back and she finds herself wanting to be alone for a little while. She leaves the door open slightly open (it is his house), drops her cardigan on the chair, slips off her flats and sits on the bed.

It's not long before she's lying on her stomach, face buried into the pillow that's getting wetter by the second.

She'd imagined meeting Beth plenty of times before but she'd always thought that it would make her happier than it actually did. She doesn't even know why she's feeling this way. It's not like she'd been brave enough to even _touch_ her. For a while she thinks it's because she's jealous and maybe a tiny part of her is but Shelby's a good mom and the kind of person who will make sure Beth grows up to do amazing things – Quinn couldn't ask for more.

She isn't going to tell Puck. Quinn's pretty sure that that makes her a horrible person considering that there were several times during her pregnancy where she was sure he cared more about Beth than she did. But apart from knowing that he got dumped by Lauren, she and Puck don't even talk anymore, and she has a feeling that he'd just get angry at her anyway. Especially if he ever found out that _Jesse _had been there too.

It's all too much and she can't do anything except let her feelings overtake her. She feels the bed shift when Jesse sits next to her but she keeps her face in the pillow, not wanting to move until the hot tears stop flowing. She doesn't want him to see her like this – weak and pathetic. Her body's shaking from how hard she's crying but he doesn't touch her.

She cries for what feels like forever and they don't speak, he just sits there and waits. She's not really in the mood to talk and it surprises her that he gets that. Eventually she feels him place a hand between her shoulder blades and she's settled down enough not to push him away immediately.

It's close to an hour before she's done and feels like she's regained enough control to face him. His hand's still there, falling away only when she rolls over. She looks up at him and his head is slightly tilted, almost as though he's trying work out if she's okay.

"God I must look awful," she says as she wipes her face. She'd rather talk about anything than what just happened and besides, crying into a pillow doesn't do good things for anyone. Jesse just smiles and hands her a glass of water which she takes immediately because hell, she's probably dehydrated by now.

"It's funny," he says, looking away from her, "you care about the little girl that you've only met twice and here my parents are hardly ever around, haven't been around for the best part of the past ten years, and I'm perfectly okay with it." He pauses to let out a long sigh and she's not sure if he's being dramatic on purpose. "It's rather sad really."

Jesse seems more reflective than regretful but she feels the need to say something anyway. "My father pretty much disowned me and my mom, well, I can't remember the last time we talked about something that actually mattered."

"And yet you feel so strongly for Beth. Obviously you're doing something right."

"If by that you mean doing everything possible to not become Judy Fabray 2.0, sure," she says with a shrug of the shoulders, "otherwise, not so much."

He brushes away a strand of her hair and uses the tips of his fingers to turn her face towards him. "It's frustrating that you think you're so incapable. You're a beautiful and intelligent girl Quinn; I only wish you'd realise that." He gently kisses her forehead and pulls away, his hand slipping down to caress her arm.

She blushes a little and then immediately feels stupid after because it's not like he's telling her something she doesn't already know. She's looking into his blue eyes but somehow they're becoming out of focus and then all of a sudden, she feels his lips press against hers. Her eyes fall shut even though she knows she should be pulling away; his lips start to move and she allows him to keep kissing her just as his hand comes to rest on her waist. It's slow and he keeps it that way for a while, until his tongue just barely brushes along her bottom lip and _god_, it's been so long that she can't help the shiver that runs through her entire body.

His lips are soft and he's good at this, so much so that when his tongue slips past her lips and his hand goes to the back of her neck, she's pretty sure this is one of the best kisses she's ever had. He shifts them so that she's lying down and manages to do it without breaking contact even once. When she's all the way back, his mouth leaves hers and starts to work on her neck, kissing and sucking in all the right places. Her hips are effectively trapped under his and if she could focus on anything apart from what he's making her feel, she'd be pushing him off of her. She'd never had a problem with doing it to Finn or Sam. Then again, neither of them had ever paid attention to her ear lobe the way Jesse's doing now.

He's much more urgent when he moves back to her lips and even Quinn feels as though this is a release of all the things that have been stirred inside her over the summer; every nerve in her body seems to spark and she kisses him back, keeping her eyes closed. She doesn't open them because then she'd realise that this is real and she isn't supposed to be doing, much less _enjoying_ any of it. He brushes his fingers over the swells of her breasts and now she really needs this to be some elaborate figment of her imagination because _no one_ has ever even gotten close to second base on the same night as a first kiss. Even with Puck, who is probably the only person who has just taken from her like this, there had been several stolen kisses in the library before anything serious had happened.

But Quinn lets Jesse take the lead.

Mostly because she's too far lost in everything that he's making her feel but also because a tiny part of her wants to know if he's really as good as she expects him to be. He pulls away and looks at her, as though he's asking for permission and she's not sure who the girl that shyly nods is because she definitely isn't Quinn Fabray. His hand feels cool against Quinn's chest and when it slides into her bra, she gasps loudly. She feels him grin against her skin and this time, he's actually justified in doing so. Sam had never been allowed under the bra but Finn had and she can't imagine him being able to do things like this without stopping to see what he was doing. Jesse only needs one hand and when the tips of his fingers graze across her nipple, she forgets not only Finn but also how to breathe. She might also be doing something ridiculous like arching her back into his palm.

When he pauses she moves his arm away and takes his face in both hands, trying to regain some control and get back into familiar territory. She can tell he's a little taken aback but he eases into it soon enough, rolling them over so that she's on top. She straddles his waist without meaning to and his hands go straight to her hips, holding her in place. Quinn waits for the moment where he gropes her ass like every other guy has done but it never comes. Instead one of his hands fists her hair and she's so taken aback by this, she gasps and breaks the kiss. She makes eye contact with him again her and he smirks at her, raising an eyebrow.

She doesn't get the chance to say anything because Jesse's lips are on hers again, one hand still in her hair and she can't fight the impulse to press her hips down onto his anymore. She hears him groan and this time Jesse's the one who has to pull away, closing his eyes and pressing his head back into the pillow. She takes advantage of the fact that he's caught off guard and starts to place soft kisses against his neck, appreciating the way his breathing becomes shallower and uneven. She even does a little exploring of her own, running her palms just under his t-shirt and oh – she really didn't expect him to be so toned. He whispers her name and when her hips meet his again, she gets to feel the confirmation that he likes what she's doing.

He turns them over and Quinn can feel his hand sliding up her knee and under her dress before coming to rest on her thigh. He doesn't go any further and it's almost like he's going slow on purpose, gauging her reaction at each step. She _should_ be annoyed by this. She _should_ be yanking his hand away. She _should_ have some kind of self-control. But it's hard to think of all the things she should be doing when the warmth of his hand against her bare skin makes her feel like her entire body is burning up.

He takes the hem of her dress and she can't believe that she's lifting her hips to _help_ him. The next thing Quinn knows he's pulling the dress up her body, over her head and before she realises it, it's being discarded somewhere behind him.

She's lying there in her underwear. _Half-naked _in her underwear.

Sure she's not a virgin anymore but she's never actually had all her clothes off in front of anyone before. Finn had seen her topless a few times but she'd made sure that it never went any further than that; it's not like Finn would've lasted long enough to go further anyway. Even with Puck, Quinn had insisted that her Cheerios uniform stay on the entire time and she has a feeling that he liked it more that way anyway. Now though, she's completely exposed in front of Jesse, praying that he can't see any stretch marks.

"God you're sexy," he says, running a finger up the outside of her thigh before stopping at her waist. She manages to give him a weak smile because he looks like he actually means it but she can't help but feel a little terrified as he hovers over her. His lips go everywhere – her mouth, down her neck and across her chest. She's a little relieved that he doesn't move to take off her bra because she's not sure she'd be able to muster the strength to protest. When he presses a kiss to the valley between her breasts, her hips buck and her legs seem to have a mind of their own because they spread open a little bit. She's experiencing a complete sensory overload and she grasps at the sheets, trying to focus on something other than what he's doing.

It's hardly working.

He continues down her stomach and if she wasn't convinced that her brain has completely shut off, she's sure of it now because otherwise, she'd absolutely be concerned about how fast they're moving. Granted she's known him for close to four months now and he's never tried anything before but they're not even dating and yet somehow he's getting further than almost all of her ex-boyfriends. It's too much too soon and she_ knows_ this. Senior year is supposed to be about her and getting out of Lima, not giving into urges and sleeping with a boy, let alone one who isn't her boyfriend. There are some mistakes that she's not willing to make twice.

"Jesse," she chokes out when she's collected herself enough to form an actual thought. He stops and looks up at her, but the words catch in her throat and he goes back to paying more attention to her body. When his tongue slides over her stomach she feels a flood of warmth between her legs and it makes her mind go completely blank. Her eyes shut and all she can hear is her own ragged breathing interlaced with soft moans. It's hard to tell him to stop when Quinn's not even sure if she actually wants him to. "I don't know what I'm doing," she says in a voice that comes out way too breathy for her own liking.

"That's okay. You don't have to; you just have to enjoy this." He continues kissing down the flat of her stomach stopping only when he reaches her underwear. "And trust me, you will enjoy." He runs his thumb just under her belly button and she almost lets herself give into him just so all this tension can end. But then that same thumb is dancing along the waistband of her panties and she snaps out of it. She forces her eyes open and squirms away from him on her elbows.

"Stop it," she says and she is a lot more forceful this time. He instantly pulls away and sits up, just as her legs snap shut.

"What's wrong?" He's just staring, she can't read his expression and now she's beyond uncomfortable.

"I – I can't do this." She shakes her head and brings her arms up to cover her chest, suddenly very aware of the whole situation. His face stiffens and he straightens up completely, eyes burning with intensity. When she doesn't elaborate, he gives her a slow nod and starts to move off of the bed. She knows it looks bad, especially because her lips are swollen and her hair is a complete mess but she retrieves the dress and uses it to cover herself anyway. "Jesse –"

She doesn't get to finish her sentence because with a quick spin of the feet, he walks out of the room. There's no slamming of the door and no full on storm out; he just leaves and the door shuts with a quiet click. It's not enough to make her cry but that doesn't mean she's not left feeling like shit. It isn't fair how a few seconds can change everything for the worse.

It really isn't fair.

* * *

><p>She doesn't sleep well. In fact she's wide awake well before it's bright outside. Quinn tiptoes over to Jesse's bedroom but the door's closed. Quinn thinks about going in anyway but really, it's enough of a sign that she's not welcome anymore.<p>

So she quietly stuffs her things in her overnight bag and heads downstairs, pausing only to look at a St. James family photo. Mr and Mrs St. James are standing with the three children sitting on chairs in front of them. It's from a while ago because Jesse looks a lot younger but even then he must have been the favourite because he's sitting right in the middle with his brother and sister on either side. Jesse's the youngest of the three and shares the same curly hair as his brother; the only difference is that his smile is much wider than either of his siblings. Again, she's reminded of the previous night and she can't imagine facing him this soon.

Quinn shouldn't be doing this. She shouldn't be leaving, especially after all that's Jesse's done for her in the past few days. But she knows, even now, how much she regrets letting Puck go too far and just the thought of doing anything like that with Jesse is really, really scary. And so she puts her bag in her car and does the thing that's much easier than going back upstairs and into his room.

She runs.

**...**

**Author's Note: The shit's hit the fan...how long will it take to clean up?**

**Thanks to everyone for all the reviews for the last chapter :D I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Return to Sender, Damaged in Transit**

**...**

It's almost November.

Quinn knows this because her mother's already started planning for Thanksgiving dinner even though it's still weeks away. She knows this because her weekends are now consumed by SAT revision. She also knows this because it marks the start of the new month and she still hasn't spoken to or heard from Jesse. He hasn't called or texted or anything and she knows that she could just act first but she did that the last time they had a fight. And is this a fight? She doesn't even know. He had to have known that she wasn't going to sleep with him anytime soon.

It's been two weeks since the bedroom incident. It scares her that she knows that. It scares her how often she thinks about him. It's pathetic and ridiculous because she's also spent a lot of time thinking about other boys she's been with just for very, _very_ different reasons.

Sam was and still is the nicest guy she knows. (Even if he is dating Mercedes.) And of course, even Quinn can admit his body isincredible. It's half the reason Santana was so quick to take him (the other half being that she just likes _taking_ from Quinn). Even though she wasn't a virgin, something stopped her from going all the way with him. The way she saw it, junior year was her second chance (yes Quinn knows about the born again jokes and they've _never_ been funny) to wipe the slate clean and rebuild what little status she had left. He had even confessed to her that he was a virgin and gave her the ring so that when she was ready she could have her first time the way it was supposed to be. Quinn would always think about how sweet he was and how he probably deserved someone so much better than her.

Finn was the _quarterback_. Even if the team hardly ever won, he would always have that to his name. Add that to the fact that he was also a 'good' guy and she was head cheerleader and well, it was common sense that they were supposed to be together. The first time she dated him, Quinn would often think about how long they had to sit together for lunch in order to let people know they ruled the school, how she'd make sure to kiss him on field after he scored and how he was always going to be hers. He'd tell her he loved her and she'd smile and say it back but she always wondered if she really did. Looking back, she didn't, at least not then.

In fact the only time Quinn realised she loved Finn was when she was pretending she was pregnant with his child. She caught the briefest of glimpses of just how much he cared when he got a job for her and showed her how he was beginning to childproof his bedroom for when the baby came. Naturally it was too late by then; Finn may have been slow but she was a fool to think that he'd be satisfied with a Cheerios uniform and second base when Rachel Berry thought he was a god's gift to high school girls.

The second time around she always thought about whether _he_ really meant it when he said 'I love you.' Yes he was still sweet but he didn't have the same look in his eyes, the look that told her he thought she was perfect. Perhaps she was naïve for believing he had a look in the first place; for all she knows he may just have been thinking about whether he had remembered to shower that day. Even so, she just knew Finn was supposed to be 'the one.' The one she'd eventually walk down the aisle to. The one who was _supposed_ to hold her hand when she was in labor. It makes her cringe a little now, but she did think about an actual future with him and maybe it wasn't the worst life she could end up living. She let him get further, as far as third base (she had learnt from her mistakes) but she still couldn't bring herself to sleep with him. He had learnt a few things since their last time together as well – she's not sure what makes her want to throw up more, the thought that he learnt them from Rachel or that he learnt them from Santana. In the end even though he said he loved her, he always loved Rachel more.

If Finn and Sam were about building and maintaining her image then Puck was about destroying it – about not being a Fabray, not being good at school, not being a good Christian and not caring about being _good enough_. Puck was easy too, sure he protested in the beginning saying Finn was 'his boy' but few seductive smiles and spins in her Cheerios skirt were more than enough to convince him. She often thought what Russell would say if he knew his daughter was making out with a mohawked Jew that had a criminal record. It was only supposed to be a harmless flirt with the other side, to see what Santana could have at any time of the day and what Quinn was missing out on. Then she heard a rumour that Finn was checking out Rachel, on the same day that Coach Sylvester called her fat and it turned into so much more.

There were and still are moments when she thinks about what would have happened if she and Puck had kept Beth. The times when Puck would talk about being a father were the times that she was most attracted to him, even without the pregnancy hormones. They showed her that he wasn't a Lima loser meathead – it was just that no one, even himself, expected any better. If she had to put money on it, she'd bet that Puck made it out of Ohio before Finn did. Puck has also been the only one with whom she has ever talked about her father in any significant detail since she was kicked out. But she also knew there was a lot of truth behind Santana's taunts of getting her brains fucked out by Puck – she knew because _she_ was the one sleeping alone in his bed – and she just couldn't let him touch her in that way ever again.

As far as Jesse's concerned, it's completely different. She likes to think she's always two (or five in Finn's case) steps ahead of the game. But Jesse is just as good a player as she is and unlike the other boys he has the capacity to be incredibly mean and the intelligence to make it really hurt. Unlike the other boys, she's not sure if he's good or bad for her. It wouldn't be half as much of a problem if he didn't so good all the damn time.

But attractiveness aside, she can't help but wonder why she let it get so far in the first place. With the exception of her alcohol fuelled night with Puck, she has always been good with setting and keeping boundaries, but of course, it all went to hell with Jesse. Maybe she was really emotional after seeing Beth and just needed someone. A small part wonders if subconsciously she just wanted to spite Rachel but she doesn't think so because otherwise she would have gone all the way with Jesse. An even smaller part of her knows that she let him kiss her because she just wanted to _know_. She wanted to know if he was really that good, to know if she missed being touched and to know if maybe the reason he wanted to spend so much time with her was that he liked her back. She went about it in the worst way possible and Quinn's mad at herself because by now, she should _know better_.

Maybe she and Jesse can pretend like it didn't happen. She ignores the part of her that remembers she tried to do the same thing after her night with Puck and what a catastrophic failure that was.

It's not like he can be angry at her for leading him on either because well, she didn't. But she did spend the majority of fall break with him and stay in his house. And of course, he set up the whole meeting with Beth. God, they did all the things that a couple would do and she wonders if he realises that by now or had planned it that way from the beginning. Obviously he's not going to say sorry for what happened and if Quinn's being honest, she has to admit that it's not like she didn't know what it meant when she accepted his invitation either.

Even though she's a little hesitant to call him and potentially have him end whatever it is they have together, what's more terrifying than anything and what she can barely admit to herself is just how _lonely_ she is without him.

There are a couple times of times when she and Santana are in the bathroom doing their makeup that she thinks about telling her everything. Santana's still the most 'experienced' person she knows (minus Brittany but Quinn doesn't see that conservation getting very far) and maybe she'd know something about dealing with someone as mercurial as Jesse. But she's still well, _Santana_, and Quinn still kind of hates her for the little stunt she pulled at Brittany's party.

It must be some kind of sad, cruel irony that Rachel's the one who she ends up talking to.

It's not by choice either. In fact, Rachel pretty much stalks her after English one day and just when Quinn opens the door to her locker, the tiny brunette is standing right there.

"Hello Quinn," says Rachel, looking up at Quinn with her brown doe eyes, a faint smile on her face.

"Rachel," she replies in monotone. She gives her a cursory glance before she busies herself with organising her books.

"How've you been?"

"Fine." Her tone is cold and while Rachel hasn't done anything to deserve it off late, it's doesn't mean Quinn has any intention of holding a conversation with her. She fully intends on just ignoring Rachel and walking off but when she tries to move past her, the girl doesn't budge. In fact she puts her hands on her hips and straightens up – as if being a few centimetres taller makes any difference. Quinn rolls her eyes. "If you're here to tell me to come back to glee – you're wasting your time."

We do need you back Quinn," she says softly, her face falling a little.

"You have Blaine. He's a better singer and he can do solos. That should be more than enough."

"It's not the same. Everybody misses you."

"No they don't," Quinn cuts her off. "And you know they don't. So stop lying," she says matter-of-factly as she shuts her locker door. Rachel looks away and doesn't say anything. It's not as though Quinn has any interest in listening what she has to say either. Quinn's done playing this stupid game and without the game, there is absolutely _nothing_ to talk about.

Just as she's about to leave for her next class, she hears Rachel say "I didn't come here to talk to you about glee."

Despite her better instincts, Quinn stops in the hallway but doesn't turn to look at Rachel. "What?" she asks.

"I wanted to tell you…I ran into Jesse."

She's thankful she's facing away because it means Rachel misses the split second of confusion that crosses Quinn's face. Since when did Jesse just 'run into' people? And _Rachel _at that. "Why are you telling me this?" There's a long pause and Quinn can't help but turn her head so that she can just make out Rachel in the corner of her eye.

"He wants to leave Ohio you know."

"I can't say I blame him," she replies, still trying to keep her tone of disinterest. But seriously, since when did they start talking again? Jesse is supposed to still be angry at her for breaking his heart.

"No you don't understand – he auditioned for Tisch."

Quinn actually feels something drop inside of her. She barely registers the shrill sound of the school bell over her thoughts. It hardly matters; she isn't worried about being late now. "What?" Her voice comes out soft and uncertain and instantly she knows she's given herself away to Rachel.

"The Tisch School of Arts at NYU. It's a very prestigious school for the performing arts, one that happens to be own my own shortlist of –"

"I know what Tisch is Rachel!" she interrupts, spinning around. "How do you know this?"

Rachel seems a little taken aback but quickly recovers to say "I…I met him at my ballet class. He told me that he was brushing up before his audition."

Quinn's in shock herself. She can't believe that Jesse chose to tell Rachel this information and not her. And it couldn't have been a spur of the moment thing either, she's knows that applications take a lot of advance preparation and knowing Jesse, he's probably been practising for weeks.

That can only mean that he knew the entire time she was with him and never bothered to tell her. Or didn't want to tell her. She's not sure what hurts more. She hates herself for thinking that people change, every single relationship in her life is proof that they don't. They just get better at acting.

She's feels a horrible prickling in her eyes and it's déjà vu all over again. No matter how hard Quinn tries to keep up appearances, Rachel _always_ manages to see her at her absolute worst. Crying in glee as Finn found out the truth about Beth. Crying in bathroom during prom. The only thing worse was that Rachel then proceeded to dry off her tears, _after_ being on the receiving end of a resounding slap. She won't give Rachel that pleasure this time around. She will not cry here.

But maybe Rachel does deserve her bitchiness after all.

She swallows away the sudden dryness in her mouth and when she's sure there will be no tears, she looks up at Rachel. "Looks like you win again."

"What?"

"Jesse will be out of your hair now. Guess that means you and Finn will be able to live happily ever after. Congrats," she says putting on a smile that doesn't even come close to reaching her eyes.

Rachel visibly rolls her eyes and stares Quinn down. "Don't you ever get tired of doing this?"

Quinn takes a breath. Not again. Not here. "Doing _what_?"

"Pretending you don't need anybody," she says, moving closer. "Despite what you may think, I didn't tell you about Jesse to torture or torment you." Quinn scowls at her even more. "I don't know what's going on between you two but if he makes you happy then –"

"I know you like to hear yourself talk Rachel but you really should learn not to interfere in other people's lives." It's getting just that little bit harder to keep calm so Quinn starts to walk away. Of course Rachel can't take a hint and follows her.

"I'm trying to help –"

"Save it for someone else."

"Fine. Jesse thinks the New Direction won't win this time either. If he's hurt you the way he hurt me, at least come back to glee so that we can prove him wrong."

"God Rachel, let it _go_," she snaps, unable to control herself any more. The shorter girl visibly winces and Quinn turns on her well-practised-and-slightly-out-of-use ice queen glare. "Get this through your head – I'm not coming back to glee. This is the last year we'll see each other and then you'll go off to bright lights and Broadway so just… let it go."

Rachel actually looks scared now because of how close they're standing and it pleases her a lot more than it should. She looks smaller too, which is exactly how Quinn likes her. "I'm sorry Quinn." Quinn isn't about to let this conversation continue so she starts to leave again. Why is the math classroom so far away? "I know we don't really see eye to eye and that we're never been the best of friends but I _am_ sorry. Seeing you sad makes me sad," Rachel continues. Quinn rolls her eyes at Rachel's attempt to empathise. Quinn has always been awful to her but she always comes back with a smile, wanting to be friends.

Bitch.

"I'm sorry about you and Jesse and I'm _really _sorry for what happened with you and Finn."

Quinn can't believe it. She really can't. In fact she's so taken aback that she actually stops walking. Not only is Rachel pitying her, she now has the gall to bring up that up? Nevertheless, Quinn keeps her cool and turns around to face Rachel again. "Is that why you chased Finn the entire time _I_ was his girlfriend and then waited all of one week to take him back?" she asks simply.

"I – I wasn't chasing – I didn't – I didn't mean for it to happen."

"Yes you did," she barks out before reverting to a more contained and in control voice. "But this has nothing to do with Finn does it? Tell me Rachel, how do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"When you were with Puck you were in love with Finn, when you were with Jesse you were in love with Finn, and when you're actually _with_ Finn you make out with Puck and secretly meet up with Jesse. You just have to have it all don't you?"

"I didn't secretly meet Jesse."

"Does Finn know about it?" Quinn fires back.

Rachel looks embarrassed and Quinn's sure that she hasn't told him; clearly she's thinking the same thing Quinn is – after what happened with Puck, Finn would never forgive her for reaching out to Jesse. Quinn knows she's been called a whore but there are times where she seriously considers why no one, apart from Santana, applies the same term to Rachel.

"Please don't tell him," says Rachel softly, staring at the ground. If Rachel hadn't dropped that bomb about Jesse leaving, Quinn would have laughed in her face. She has the audacity to ask Quinn to keep her secret but she doesn't have the decency to look her in the eye as she does it. "_Please_."

"Stop it, you're making me sick," says Quinn in disgust. She may not have forgotten about Rachel telling Finn the truth about her baby but she has no intention of telling Finn about this. If she still _wanted_ Finn then yes, things may have been different but she doesn't. In fact she hardly even speaks to him anymore. He's tried to ask her about Jesse and tried to tell her to join glee again but she always cuts him off and dismisses him in fewer than five words. Besides, karma's a bitch and it'll be much more entertaining to watch Finn and Rachel self-destruct.

"Quinn…" Rachel's voice trails off and her eyes are starting to shine as well, which only makes this even grosser. She's playing the victim card again and trying to make Quinn out as some kind of evil bitch. Really, Quinn's the one who should be crying. Rachel ruins _everything_. Finn, Puck and pregnancy aside, if it wasn't for Rachel, Quinn would never have met Jesse St. James. If it wasn't for Rachel, prom wouldn't have been ruined and she would have gone to an after party instead of getting a ride with Jesse. If it wasn't for Rachel, Quinn wouldn't know what Jesse tasted like, how his lips felt against hers and thinking about his hands on her bare skin wouldn't make her heat up. She'd have no reason to miss him and she sure as hell wouldn't care about him moving to New York.

"You think you have it so bad," spits out Quinn. "At the end of the year you get to leave this stupid town and never look back. But that's not good enough for gold star Rachel Berry is it? You still have to get everything."

"Are you even talking about Finn anymore?" she asks and even if she is being sincere, Quinn can't take it that she is so fucking oblivious.

"You've got Finn, you've got Puck, you've got Jesse. God, you could probably even get _Sam_. So pick a guy, Rachel, any guy!" She's borderline yelling and she needs to end this before someone overhears them.

Rachel's got her eyes wide open and her mouth agape; a long moment passes before she actually manages to say anything. "I…I've never…with Sam. He said I wasn't his type." The brunette looks up at her earnestly, as if that's supposed to make Quinn feel better.

"Well thank god for that because it's not like you haven't tried." Quinn continues to glare and she hardly cares that the tears are now streaming down Rachel's face. She turns around and this time Rachel doesn't follow.

He's leaving her.

But if he thinks she's just going to roll over and take it the way Rachel did, he's got another thing coming.

**...**

**Author's Note: So I'm back after such a long absence. I'm really sorry that it took so long to update this but I got bogged down with things towards the end of the year. Also it's been hard finding the motivation to write because I'm so frustrated with the storylines Quinn has this season. I had such high hopes after the first few episodes because it was like she was finally getting some continuity and good character development. But now it's getting really hard to defend the things she does (or tries to do) which sucks because she's one of my favourite characters on the show. Really, the way _all_ the girls are portrayed is just a whole world of WTF. I will be updating a lot more frequently now and I encourage others to write more St. Fabray as well :)**


	16. Chapter 16

**Return to Sender, Damaged in Transit**

**...**

Jesse hates Ohio.

He's lived here pretty much his entire life and he still isn't able to appreciate one single aspect of the cow town. Not the acres of nothingness, not the white trash and certainly not the weather. In fact more than anything, he hates the weather. It's schizophrenic at the best of times and always manages to be exactly the opposite of what he wants. One of the two reasons that he chose to go to UCLA was that Los Angeles practically only had _one_ season. (The other reason being that it was as far away from Ohio as he could go without leaving the country.)

But he's stuck for the time being, going through the college experience in OSU one godforsaken day at a time. It only gets worse when he finds out that his dorm is a full fifteen minute walk away from the main campus leaving him ample time to experience the hot, the cold and every goddamn thing in between. Jesse tries hard to get to stay off campus but after the UCLA fiasco his father can barely look him in the eye so he figures he'll take baby steps – it'll be a while before his parents realize not only does he deserve his own place but he deserves it somewhere better than Ohio.

The only thing that's worse is that he's barely making it through the first semester and it's not because of his grades. (He isn't about to make that mistake again.) It's because everything at OSU is just_ mediocre_. While the musical theatre program isn't particularly bad, it isn't good _enough_. At least not for someone with his talent and his dreams. As far as vocal and acting classes go, he's far above everyone in his class. He has more range, more drive and a better work ethic. Of course it's a nice ego boost but it doesn't _mean_ anything if you're the best in an average group. Rachel is a prime example of this. He can literally feel everything in Ohio smothering him and he needs to get the fuck out, as soon as possible.

But then…there's Quinn Fabray.

Blonde, beautiful and undoubtedly broken.

She plays the game better than anyone he's ever met, which is why he chose to seek her out over the summer, but he knows that on some level he isn't spending time with her just for his own amusement. He's undeniably attracted to her, which is odd in itself because it's not like he hadn't seen her during his unfortunate stint as a senior at McKinley. Of course she had looked like she was auditioning for a role on ABC Family then, so he can hardly blame himself for not giving her a second look. She's most definitely not the reason that he's still in Ohio. She _can't_ be because the reason he's staying is to stop his mother reminding him how it's so much harder to get a job without a degree. So his parents had mentioned OSU dozens of times before and yes, his actual application coincided with Quinn telling him to go. Whatever. Being called lazy is not something he takes kindly to.

It just so happens that when he's thinking of Quinn he comes up with an idea. And it's a brilliant one at that.

On a whim he decides to check out the NYU prospectus as well and what he sees makes even his heart beat a little faster. NYU has a musical theatre program, he knew that much, but it's the words 'Spring Transfer' that make his eyes light up. He had never intended on spending four years in Ohio anyway but to know that he could get away after just one semester really is too good. It'll be difficult of course, but Jesse St. James lives for challenges.

* * *

><p>There are times when he's with Quinn that he feels a prickle of guilt for not telling her about his NYU plans. But at the same time he knows that you should only ever tell a person something that's worth telling and getting an audition at NYU doesn't guarantee anything. And with all the time they've been spending together, he doesn't think him just leaving will sit well with her at all. It's ridiculous really; he <em>shouldn't<em> feel guilty for getting closer to Broadway - the one thing he has _always_ wanted.

He doesn't like that his brain is so fixated on Quinn.

He doesn't understand why either. He doesn't want to save her or be her knight in shining armor. It's a boring, clichéd narrative and well, he's just not that chivalrous.

For a while he thought it was because she used to be Finn's and since Finn took from him, it only made sense that he should return the favor. But that's not the case because it's been months and Jesse still doesn't _have_ her. He wishes he could pin it down to the fact that she's the most gorgeous girl he can remember seeing; it would make so much more sense than anything else. She won't even sing with him, which frustrates him because every female he's ever known has wanted to sing with him. With Rachel it was easy, from the moment she joined him in 'Hello' he knew that their chemistry was incredible and as they fought for dominance in all their duets, he could feel the lust and sexual tension ebb and flow. That and she was only too eager to be indulged; a few words of thoroughly deserved praise and she was completely enamored with him.

He isn't even sure if Quinn _likes_ music. She must on some level because he's sung to her and well, she's only human, but it's a level that's a lot lower than he's used to. He's tried on several separate occasions to get her to duet with him but the closest he's ever gotten is getting her to hum along. She's pretty much cockteasing him without even actually doing it and he can't help but wonder if she's doing it not solely for her own enjoyment, but to hide the fact that she's absolutely terrified.

When he goes to her room the morning after they kiss and finds her gone, he gets his answer.

* * *

><p>Jesse speaks with his advisor immediately, who bluntly tells him that while his vocal and acting skills are good, based on his dancing he doesn't stand a chance at Tisch. He wants to tell the man that he's jaded and just needs some credible talent to stay at OSU but decides against it. If he's going to do this, and he has every intention of doing this <em>right<em>, he'll need to adopt a different strategy from the quadruple Nationals winning male lead.

He takes his advisor's comments about his dancing seriously (there might be some truth to them) and signs up for an additional ballet class. He can hold his own, without question, but it troubles him that the vast majority of his class is actually better than him. He's not used to being anything other than number one and the fact that he's been in jazz shoes since he was five and is still not better than these Midwestern bottom feeders is something that he's just not okay with. He_ needs _to be better.

His preparations for his audition send him into overdrive. He spends more time in the vocal practice rooms than ever before because this time there's no Carmel to ease the application process along. He persuades (forces) his acting classmates to go through the same scene again and again, refining every single nuance of his performance. He finds that his dancing is just not progressing at the pace he would like so in addition to his additional dance class, he decides to take up another class outside of school.

It takes him all of one minute to figure out that he can kill two birds with one stone.

He quickly contacts his uncle and asks if he can spend a few weekends at his place because he's 'homesick' and naturally he agrees. Jesse has always liked staying with his uncle; the man is courteous enough to hardly ever be home.

* * *

><p>It's difficult for Jesse to pick his best quality, but if he absolutely had to choose, he'd say it's his unwavering self-confidence. After all, he could argue that his self-confidence is what allows him to excel in everything else he does, both on and off stage. Like him, Rachel had complete confidence in herself and the talent to warrant it; one of the reasons he found himself so attracted to her was that she knew, without doubt, that she was going to be his rival on Broadway.<p>

If what happened in his guest bedroom isn't enough for him to kick his attraction to Quinn, then this reason alone _should_ do the trick. Quinn has confidence, that much is true; he's sure that she would not be able to channel the lovely Grace Kelly if she didn't. But he also knows that her confidence stems from mere representations of herself that she constructs, characters that she plays. Grace Kelly, Queen Bee, Head Cheerleader. Quinn's lack of confidence in her own _self_ absolutely _infuriates_ him beyond all reason. He _should_ find her pathetic and not worth his time, hell high school Jesse _did_, but he's also seen the real Quinn – the Quinn who is able to match him word for word– and he doesn't think he'll be able to find anyone like her ever again. He's aware that the thought is a little too melodramatic but she keeps pace with him better than any girl he's ever met and more than anything, she doesn't bore him. Quinn's enough of a bitch to never be boring. Which is why he wants her to _want_ him. More specifically, he wants her to want what he represents – getting the hell out of Ohio and never looking back. It's egotistical, even for him, and probably perverted but he doesn't care. Especially if it leads to her leaving this cesspit that they're forced to call home.

Of course he has every intention of making her want him in other ways but – one thing at a time.

* * *

><p>When he walks into the ballet studio in Lima on a Saturday evening and sees Rachel, he receives proof that he pretty much is a genius. Sure, he remembers her schedule from when they were dating and Rachel's studio is much better than anything either Akron or Columbus can offer but there are times when his Machiavellian side surprises even himself. The look on Rachel's face is both priceless and hilarious at the same time but all he gives her is a slight nod. They're not in the same class, but if he knows Rachel (and he does) her curiosity has been piqued just enough to want to know why he's there.<p>

And sure enough, when class is over she approaches him.

He doesn't _actually_ mean to tell Rachel that he's auditioning for NYU when they start talking after class; all he intends to do is let her know that he's in Lima in the hope that she'd mention it to Quinn. It's underhanded and he's being petty but he's got the biggest ego he knows of and by giving him blue balls and then leaving, Quinn dealt it a one-two punch. So for better or worse he lets it slip, mostly because Rachel's going on and on about her chances at NYADA and well, Tisch is Tisch.

It shuts her up almost instantly and he's all kinds of pleased about it. She doesn't hesitate to tell him that she has to go because Finn, her _boyfriend_, is going to pick her up. She's crazier than he remembers if she thinks that that's going to affect him but he does wonder how much longer she's going to delude herself into believing that Finn Hudson and Broadway can both be a part of her future. He doesn't bring it up though because it's not a part of his plan; while irritating Hudson is a nice bonus, it isn't the goal. He politely wishes Rachel good luck, leaving before he has the misfortune of meeting Gigantor again.

And besides, all he has to do is wait because as always, Rachel just cannot help herself.

**...**

**Author's Note: I've finally been able to start writing chapters for this story again. I hope that everyone who wanted to get inside Jesse's head for a bit enjoys this :) It was difficult to have him toe the line between being a douche and actually caring about Quinn so please let me know how I did. Since I'm having fun writing him, I've decided that we're going to stick with him through to the next chapter. As an aside I had stopped watching glee since the whole Quinn wants to take Beth storyline started because it pretty much started to kill my muse; after reading a few episode synopses wow did I make the right choice. I missed Jesse's brief token appearance so maybe someone could fill me in on how he did ;) I guess I just want you to know that I'll be ignoring 95% of what happened in season 3 and the 5% that I do use will probably be presented in a very different way. Hope you enjoyed reading this and as always please leave reviews!**


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